right there. I’d go into the kitchen and get a drink, anything. Before I’d risen fully, Jake’s fingers encircled my wrist lightly and pulled me back down.
“Don’t go.” He was a man of few words, usually anyway. A few times when he was really upset he could be long-winded, but those times were rare. Since I hadn’t really wanted a drink, I sat again, anticipating what he’d say next.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked quietly.
Was he serious? I couldn’t imagine a person I wanted to know less; except maybe my father. He’d never let me live it down. Of course, he acted the same way, just without the fists.
Hanging my head, peering down at my lap, I clasped my hands together and took another deep breath.
“I didn’t want you to know.” Honesty, I decided was probably best, especially when dealing with Jake. He was a straight-talker, but also was extremely intelligent, if he wanted to, he could get ahold of the old reports and read it all for himself anyway, and he’d figure it out.
“Why, especially with the note the other morning?”
I really wanted to go for a run right now. That was the best way to clear my head. Feeling the wind, smelling nature all around gave me peace and helped me to feel empowered. I hated it, but I hadn’t gone running outside alone all week.
With the fear of Tim, out there somewhere watching me, I didn’t want to be caught out like that, especially because my favorite time to run was sunrise, when the world was mostly quiet.
“I still struggle with the shame of it all, I know that I shouldn’t, that it isn’t my fault, but on some level, I think that I could have done something before things got so bad. I didn’t want you to see me that way.” Apparently, the honesty thing had taken over my tongue, why was I telling him all this?
“Come here,” he said, moving one arm behind my back and the other reached around front to guide my face into his chest. He held me there like that for a long time. He was really good at being the comforter. I wondered if anyone else had ever seen this side of Jake.
I didn’t cry, thankfully, but it was a struggle. After a few minutes, I moved my arms to circle his waist and relaxed into the hug. It was an awkward position, our legs both faced forward on the couch, but our torsos turned into each other. Jake leaned us back and cradled me against him. It wasn’t the embrace of a lover, but that of support and friendship. Somehow, he knew exactly what I needed.
“I think you should stay with me for a while.” Jake’s suggestion caught me completely off guard. My entire body stiffened. I tried to pull away, but he settled me by running his fingers through my hair and speaking soothingly.
“I have to keep you safe, Hope. I don’t know why, but I need to. I have a guest room if you don’t want to sleep with me, you can stay in there. I’m not asking for more from you than you want to give me.”
“You did so much work here, though, I think I’m safe at home.” Certainly, I was trying to convince myself as well as him.
“I hope so. The thing is, whoever is doing this knows where you live. He doesn’t know where I live.”
Nodding into his chest, I accepted what he said. I’d gladly agree with him, but I was worried about what would happen between us. I wasn’t that strong. If he’d moved on, if he brought other women home, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. Ridiculous, I knew, but it was the truth.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I argued.
“Why not?” He’d kept his voice soft, but the note of frustration showed through anyway.
“What if-” I couldn’t finish that sentence. It would have been way too telling.
“What if, what? I already told you that you can stay in the guest room if you want. I won’t pressure you, even though we are amazing together.” His eyes twinkled with mischief and his lips tipped up at the edges.
We’d never spoken openly about the night we had sex. He tried, but