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normal. But he’d never manage it if he gave in to the negative thoughts and images swirling around in his head.
    Pouring on the speed, he tried to drown the thoughts out—to smother the doubts and fears riding him hard. But try as he might, he couldn’t shut them down or silence the little voice that wondered if he would ever manage to be a good role model and father to Ryan. Someone that could actually string more than three words together in a conversation and not feel the urge to run away the whole time.
    Finally admitting defeat, Raven slowed to a walk and started his cool down routine. It wasn’t going to happen today. He’d only done about half his usual distance but he knew from experience the loop that had started up in his mind would just continue to play over and over again. The only way to break it now was to do something different. Which was appropriate—he’d needed to do something different his whole life.
    And finally I am!
Like a lifeline he clung to the realisation. He had started to change things—to make things better, for Ryan and for himself. He had a way to go yet, but he’d come an incredibly long way already—both physically and mentally. The move to Riversands had been the best thing he’d ever done for them. It was a fresh start—a chance at a new life far away from the memories of torment and abuse and never being quite good enough.
A little calm he’d never have been able to achieve even twelve months ago settled inside him. No, it wasn’t going to be easy, but he could do it. Of course, just as he was shaking his limbs out and starting to feel better about the day, he spotted the very last person he needed to see right now…
Mark—his light grey T-shirt stained around the collar and pits with sweat, suggesting he’d just finished a run himself. He’d set one long, bronzed leg up on a bench to stretch out his thigh and calf muscles. Reaching forward to touch the toe of his runners emphasised his strong forearms and solid biceps. He looked magnificent set against the backdrop of bright morning sun and dark blue sea, and Raven noticed more than one set of eyes following Mark’s every move as he continued to bend and stretch.
Raven wanted to groan in frustration. Unfortunately, just as he realised he should be getting out of sight rather than ogling the man’s hard body, Mark looked up.
“Raven!” A huge grin lit up Mark’s face as he strode across the boardwalk towards him.
Watching the smooth, confident strides, the way his tight T-shirt pulled across firm pectoral muscles and the dazzling smile that graced his strong, square-jawed face, a thrill of excitement laced with an equal measure of dread raced through Raven’s body.
Okay, so maybe Mark wasn’t the very last person he wanted to see. But he certainly wasn’t someone that was going to make Raven feel settled and centred anytime soon.
“Hey! Raven! Fancy meeting you here.”
“Um…yeah! H-hi.” Damn ! Raven wanted to kick himself. Smooth was so not his middle name. And watching Mark’s body as he continued to shift from foot to foot and shake out his limbs certainly didn’t help.
“Do you run here often?” Mark asked, then let out an easy chuckle. “Oh, wow! That sounded so lame. I didn’t mean it like some sort of cheesy pickup line.”
Raven felt familiar heat climb up his neck and fill his cheeks. “I…ah… I t-try to run here every m-morning.”
“Yeah? I’ve only just started running again. Been getting kind of lazy and flabby since I started at Sandpipers.”
Yeah, right ! There wasn’t a flabby inch on the man!
“Hey, I was just about to get a drink.” Mark pointed to a small refreshments stall displaying rows of drinks and fruit under the shade of a brightly coloured beach umbrella. “You want one?”
Raven froze. He had absolutely no idea what to say. Or more specifically, he had no idea why Mark would be asking. Especially after yesterday’s little debacle.
“I…um… I d-don’t