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best interests at heart were out of the way, they got on with accusing us
of apostasy.
    They bore solemn witness that the mainstream Mormon Church
was God’s true church, that we had gone astray, and that we needed to repent
and return. When it was our turn to talk, we bore solemn witness that The True
and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last Days was God’s true
church, that the Mormons had gone
astray, and that they needed to
repent and join us . Back and forth it
went. It won’t surprise you to learn that the meeting was not terribly
productive in terms of reaching any kind of accord.
    They asked us to wait in a room down the hall while they
discussed our case. Moments later they summoned us back and informed us that
they were going to excommunicate us. It was for our own good, explained the
polyester suit speaking for the council. It was a step toward helping us
repent. After all, in case we hadn’t caught it the previous umpteen times
they’d said it, they loved us and had our best interests at heart.
    We suspected that the apostasy charge provided them with a
convenient way simply to avoid debating polygamy with us. If so, they were
wise. There was no way they could have had that conversation with us and come
out on top. They would have had to defend polygamy as part of their own
history. That would have meant admitting that polygamy was God-ordained. Then
they would have had to justify condemning people who practice polygamy today
while defending people who practiced it way back when. And they would have had
to keep a straight face while averring that the church didn’t give up polygamy
because the U.S. government was enforcing the Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act of 1862
by jailing defiant church leaders and seizing church property, but because God
just happened, at that exact moment, by the purest coincidence, to say to the
Mormon prophet in charge at the time, “About that polygamy thing. It has served
my purpose for now. So until further notice, lay off.” So to speak.
    The Mormon Church is eager to distance itself from that part
of its history and, therefore, from groups like ours. The open practice of
polygamy is a reminder and a public embarrassment to them. With a charge of
apostasy, the Manti stake leaders were able to dispatch us without having to so
much as utter the dreaded p-word, much less acknowledge their own church’s part
in it.
    The court adjourned, and everyone went home, each side
convinced, perhaps by then even exasperated enough to relish the thought, that
the other was headed for hell.
    We once feared excommunication. Now in the TLC and convinced
that the Mormons were the real apostates, we wore our excommunication like a
medal.
    Looking back, arguing about whether their or our church was
the “true” one was kind of like arguing about which artist’s portrayal of Santa
Claus came closest to a true representation of the man himself.
Life with Judith
    At last I had a sister-wife. Back from the honeymoon as a
married woman, Judith dropped out of high school and moved into our home. She
and I grew close.
    Really. As I said, she was bubbly and likable. Having her
around was fun.
    Not that there weren’t problems.
    Married woman or not, Judith was no grown-up. I mean, she
was a freakin’ teenager. Her daily routine consisted of sleeping in and playing
with my kids while I cooked, cleaned house, and did laundry. While I busied
myself with the duties of a homemaker, Judith busied herself being like another
one of my kids, albeit considerably older, and adding to my work load
accordingly.
    Judith spent time with my children that I longed to spend
with them myself, but couldn’t, thanks in part to the extra work that having
her in our home created for me. Thus it was Judith who taught my younger
daughter to tie her shoes. She taught her to do it in a weird, inside-out way.
Even today I cannot look at my daughter’s shoes, still tied inside-out, without
remembering and resenting it. I