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a new one. He’ll like you. Petite. Brunette. Good boobs.”
    “Oh”—I have literally no idea what to say—“thank you.”
    She’s blocking me from getting to the bench but doesn’t seem to have noticed.
    “Um, Cleo, could I—”
    She’s in the middle of tying the towel around herself and looks up at me through her hair. “Stalker …”
    I freeze. Crap. I am a stalker. I literally stalked her on Facebook and have just announced it by knowing her name.
    “Joke,” she says. “You’ve heard of me. That’s great.”
    She says everything in a low, lazy way, like life bores her. I put my bag down on the bench and start getting changed. Another high-waisted black skirt and fitted white shirt. But I’ve got more makeup on today. Usually I just throw on a bit of mascara and lip gloss a few minutes before I leave the house, but today Gabi has gone all out by giving me smoky eyes as part of the Dan plan. I wonder if Jamie notices stuff like that. Cleo doesn’t have a makeup bag with her or anything, just a pile of clothes that she doesn’t appear to be changinginto. She’s sitting on the bench in my towel watching me get changed.
    “When do you finish?”
    “At eleven. But we have to clean up after that.”
    “I’ll come by the bar. We’ll have a drink.”
    “I can’t really—my stepdad’s picking me up.”
    I’m in my clothes now and starting to leave. Cleo gets up and moves between me and the door. Still wearing my towel. I hope I haven’t accidentally given it to her forever. She opens the door for me to leave but is still in my way.
    “Call him and cancel. It’ll be fun. We’ll get shit-faced, and end up fucking some waiters.”
    “That’s rather sordid, dear.” Jamie has appeared at the door.
    “Piss off, Jay,” Cleo retorts, moving back into the room a little.
    “I’m sure this delightful little waitress doesn’t want to be dragged into your debauched world.”
    “No,” I say, “but she would like to go serve tiny food to your guests, so if you could let her through, that would be great.”
    “Well, if you think so little of the food, then don’t feel you have to hang around and serve it,” Jamie says, not moving out of my way. “There are plenty more where you came from.”
    I suddenly panic. What if he pours port down my shirt and gets me fired?
    It must show on my face, because he laughs.
    “Take a joke, Joseph. But we should be getting along.” He still doesn’t move. “Melanie’s fascinating fiancé, Simon, has arrived to pick her up, and I’ve got some lovely photos to show him.”
    Clearly I’m going to have to just barge my way out. For a second I am sandwiched between them. Cleo says, “Drinks later? I won’t take no for an answer.”
    I sigh. I’m going to be late if I don’t get out of here. “Fine.”
    “Fabulous,” purrs Cleo.
    Jamie eyes me as I push past him. “Have a
fabulous
time, Joseph.”
    When I get to the restaurant, I start laying out cutlery. I keep losing concentration and having to check that I’ve put the right things in the right order. Jamie’s naked girlfriend and the way he was looking at her keep popping into my head. She’s so confident. I doubt there are many girls who would tell Jamie to piss off. Maybe that’s why she’s his girlfriend.
    I drop a spoon and bend down to pick it up. You don’t see naked people very often. Maybe in some magazines or online, but Cleo is my age. The only people my age I’ve seen naked are Gabi and Kieran. Gabi thinks it’s funny when you stay over at her house to wake you up by flashing or mooning you.
    I’m going to have to stop thinking about this, or when the first guests come in I might accidentally say “boobs” to them instead of “menu” or “Can I take your order?”
    Suddenly there’s a shriek from the front of the castle. All of the staff head over to see what’s going on.
    It’s Melanie and a tall guy with a big nose, who I instantly recognize as Simon because I’ve seen