Read Irregulars: Stories by Nicole Kimberling, Josh Lanyon, Ginn Hale and Astrid Amara for Free Online Page B

yeah. During that time, the agents assigned to the case communicated with me extensively. They and I both realized that there wasn’t anyone at NIAD who had specific knowledge of cooking or restaurants, while at the same time, there was still this problem with human-sourced protein. I suppose the agents who contacted me had planned to recruit me from the moment that they introduced themselves, but I’m not disappointed. I do good work. Important work.”
    “Don’t you miss cooking?”
    Keith found himself smiling. Melancholy drifted through him. “I do miss it. I miss the companionship of the kitchen, the creative aspect…I suppose what I miss most is the solvability of all problems.”
    “How do you mean?”
    “Well, when you’re cooking during a dinner service, it’s a pass-fail situation. Either you get the food out right and on time or you don’t. Problems don’t linger. At the end of the night you’ve done all you could and tomorrow is another day where you get a fresh chance at success, no matter how big the fail might have been on the previous day.”
    “I see,” Gunther said, nodding. “Our job is not like that at all.”
    “No, it isn’t.” Keith folded his hands, observing the sunset across the bay. “It’s not so bad though. I’m the first and only specialist in the detection of contraband food items. I like the idea that I can make a difference.”
    They spent the rest of the meal engaging in the sort of harmless chat that they’d never bothered to make before. He found out that Gunther’s high-school track specialty had been hurdles and that he had majored in sociology with a minor in anthropology before signing up with NIAD.
    Finally, during coffee and dessert, Keith got the courage to ask the one question he wanted answered.
    “So why exactly did you call off our previous arrangement?”
    “You made a few offhanded comments about goblins that I didn’t care for,” Gunther said simply. “At the time, I was offended. I couldn’t say I was offended because I hadn’t told you about myself, so I just called it off.”
    “Why invite me to lunch today then?”
    “I guess I just remembered how sexy you are. And I felt like I’d been unfair.”
    Keith drained the last of his coffee. He tried to remember what he might have said that could have been offensive. With no small degree of horror, he realized that he’d said plenty. Shame verging on mortification churned through his chest.
    “I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses for myself, but I wasn’t all that stable at the time. I was still in the humans versus monsters mindset.”
    “Yes, I remember.” Gunther’s expression remained neutral, even somewhat blank.
    “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry if what I said hurt you. I’m not all that smart and it takes me a while to adjust sometimes,” Keith said. “But I do know it’s not all cut and dried. I do now anyway.”
    “That’s good to hear.” Gunther glanced at his phone. “We should probably be getting back to the market if we want to use the portal.”
    ***
    Back in Portland, the market was just wrapping up. Their rental had a parking ticket tucked lovingly under the windshield wiper. Keith stuffed it into his pocket to commune with the other three already crammed in there.
    “Anything else on the agenda for this evening?” Gunther asked.
    “On demand and a shower for me. Unless you feel up to interrogating vampires after nightfall. In which case you’re free to take the rental.” Keith wiggled the key fob at Gunther.
    “Actually, I was hoping to borrow the car to pick up a box of legendary Bauer & Bullock feijoa jam alfajores . Apparently, they’re the most addictive cookie ever made. I need to bring back a farewell gift for another agent.”
    “Someone retiring?” Keith had often wondered where old agents went to retire once their crime-fighting days were over.
    “No, just moving. Promoted to directing the Vancouver field