Read Instant Mom for Free Online Page A

could either be really proud of myself or really mad at myself . . . it was my choice. It was in my control.
    So I walked out onstage and purposely looked past the middle section so I would not have to make eye contact with the biggest and best movie star in the world. But I couldn’t see any faces. I looked closer at the audience. There were no eyes. I saw just ears. All heads were turned toward those middle four seats. They were all looking at Tom Hanks.
    I spoke the opening lines of the show and delivered the first punch line. Tom Hanks laughed. Loud and hard.
    The entire audience seemed to realize at that point that there was a person onstage. They turned en masse and looked at me, like “uh-huh, go on.”
    And the show went on.
    I talked about my family and how they reacted to my wedding to a non-Greek. Tom is not Greek and he married Rita, a Greek. Miles apart, Rita and Tom, and Ian and I both had weddings in a Greek church, where we wore head wreaths, and led by a priest we walked around an altar three times to seal our vows. In the show, I talked about the family members who first greeted Ian with suspicion and eventually accepted him with an assuring pat on his cheek: “You look Greek.”
    Like Ian, Tom had been enveloped and swallowed into a colossal and loving ethnic family. Like Rita, I had dared to bring a non-Greek, a xeno, into a fiercely proud family. On this night, as I told the story, I realized how similar our backgrounds were.
    Then suddenly, the show was over. I was bowing and the audience was applauding and I ran off as usual. But they were applauding really hard. I looked through that wall crack and finally saw the face of Tom Hanks. I decided if this turned into a standing ovation I would go back out there. Suddenly, Tom leaped to his feet, the audience quickly followed in a standing ovation, and I ran back out so fast I’m sure I created a butterfly effect on another continent. I took another bow, looked right at him finally, and smiled. Just a “thank you for coming” smile. And Tom Hanks grinned back. Again, if the story had ended there, I would have been happy.
    Two days later I received a letter from Tom Hanks. The letter says:
    “Dear Nia,
    “I know you. You are one of those Greek girls who come into the lives of men like me. Men who are not Greek. Non-Greek men. We see you, then we work up the courage to speak to you, then we fall in love with you and ask you to marry us. Then you do, in one of those Big Fat Greek weddings where you walk around a table three times. And then us non-Greek men live happy forever.”
    Tom goes on to talk about the show, Rita, their family, signs it simply with his name and includes a P.S. “I look Greek.”
    If the story had ended there, I would have been . . . you get it.
    Well, a while later Tom Hanks called me and asked if his new company, Playtone, could make my script into a movie. I always say it doesn’t matter how many no’s you get, you only need one yes. Here was mine. Rita Wilson had started it all by saying yes to reading my script. With Tom Hanks on the line, I gripped the phone receiver and breathed. Of course I was about to accept with boundless appreciation . . . but I went quiet. After years of struggling to get on-camera work, I really wanted to be in the movie. I yearned to be cast in any role, even the lump on Aunt Voula’s neck. But I didn’t dare make this request—this was Tom Hanks on the phone. Timidly, I began to consent, vacillated . . . then thought of the Laurel Thatcher Ulrich quote: “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” I knew I was about to ask Tom Hanks, the best actor in the world, if I could play a bridesmaid. And what came out was . . . I asked Tom if I could play . . . the bride.
    I was stunned at my audacity. I held my breath.
    He said yes.
    For Rita and Tom to get that movie made and subsequently released in theaters would be a complex and arduous process. This was problematic because I was a