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idea.
    She took a deep breath. “Nate, there’s something I want to talk about.”
    Nate tilted his straw Stetson up and looked sidelong at her. Their horses walked side by side on the wide path. “What is it?”
    “I talked to the dean this morning. I suggested the names of other professors whom you might be interested in working with.”
    His eyebrows pinched with concern. “Did I do something wrong? It’s been tough since we got back, but—”
    “Your work has always been excellent. It’s not about you.”
    “Feels like it might be, seeing as how I’m involved and all.”
    She kept her eyes focused between her horse’s soft black ears. “After what happened in Israel . . . I’m not so certain I’m the best choice for you.”
    He reached for Blackjack’s bridle and slowed both horses to a stop. “What are you talking about?”
    Erin faced him. He appeared both worried and angry. “Look, Nate. The university isn’t happy that I lost two grad students.”
    “Hardly your fault.”
    She talked over him. “The dean feels that it might be best if I took a sabbatical to clear my head.”
    “So I’ll wait.” Nate folded his hands atop his saddle horn. “Not a problem.”
    “You don’t understand.” She fiddled with her reins, wanting to snap them and flee this conversation on horseback, but she let the hard truth hold her in place. “Nate, I think this is the first step toward the university letting me go.”
    His mouth dropped open.
    She spoke quickly, getting it all out. “You don’t need your dissertation tied to a professor about to be booted out. You’re a brilliant scientist, Nate, and I’m sure we can find you a more suitable adviser—someone who can open doors for you that I can’t anymore.”
    “But—”
    “I appreciate your loyalty,” she said. “But it’s misguided.”
    Outrage flared from him. “Like hell it is!”
    “Nate, it won’t help me if you stay. Whatever is going to happen to my career will happen.”
    “But I picked you as my adviser because you’re the best in your field.” The anger drained from him, leaving him sagging in the saddle. “The very best. And that hasn’t changed.”
    “Who knows? This may blow over in time.”
    Truthfully, Erin didn’t expect it would, and down deep, she wasn’t even sure she wanted it to. Earlier in her career, academia had offered her a haven of rationality after her strict religious upbringing, but it didn’t feel like enough anymore. She remembered her difficulty with her classes this past semester. She couldn’t keep teaching lies.
    And she couldn’t be any less truthful with Nate now.
    “Even if it does blow over,” she said, “you will have lost valuable opportunities while it does. I won’t let that happen.”
    Nate looked ready to argue, to protest. Perhaps sensing his stress, his mare tossed her head and danced slightly on her forelegs.
    “Don’t make this any harder than it already is,” she finished.
    Nate rubbed his top lip, unable to look at her. Finally, he shook his head, turned Gunsmoke, and galloped away without a word, heading back toward the stable.
    Blackjack whinnied after them, but she held the horse firm, knowing Nate needed some time alone. She gave them a good lead before letting Blackjack walk back along the trail.
    The last rays of the day finally slipped behind the hill, but enough light remained to keep Blackjack from stepping into a gopher hole. Uncomfortable, she shifted on the horse. She felt Amy’s lucky charm in her front pants pocket. She had forgotten she had put it there, still unsure what to do with it. She had considered returning it to Amy’s parents, but would that be doing them any favors? The chunk of amber would always be a reminder that their daughter had chosen a profession that ended up killing her, her blood spilling away on foreign sands.
    Erin couldn’t do that to them—nor did she want to keep the talisman herself, this heavy token of her role in Amy’s