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regards me cautiously. “Yes, he
did.”
    “You knew Airen left him a letter?”
    “I asked him to, Mom.” Carson shrugs.
“It’s not like he was going to be sitting in his old house when Airen and Eric
showed up.” Shit. It doesn’t excuse Airen leaving the note or the fact that he
kept it from me, but it explains why he did it.
    “But, why, honey?”
    “I want to see what he’s like,” he replies
defensively.
    “Okay. He’ll be here after lunch
tomorrow.”
    He eyes me, suspicious of my easy
acquiescence. “Are you mad?”
    No, I’m terrified. My whole world is
falling apart around me, but no one else can see it. “No. I just don’t want you
to be disappointed or hurt.”
    “I just want to meet him. I don’t have any
expectations. I’m well aware he doesn’t give a shit,” he says flippantly,
failing to mask the pain in his voice. I want to tell him for the hundredth
time that Jon’s attitude has nothing to do with him. It’s because he comes from
me. It’s completely unfair. My strong, handsome, good hearted son is nothing
like me or the rest of the family. He’s miles above us, a flower cultivated in
a pile of shit.
    Airen beats me to it. “You know that’s on
him, Carson, not you.” Carson nods when Airen squeezes his shoulder. “And if
you get the urge to show him what a roundhouse kick to the head feels like,
I’ve got your back.”
    “Airen!” Joseph exclaims.
    A grin spreads across Carson’s face.
“Don’t worry, Dad. I know who my real family is.”
    I spend the rest of the day cleaning and
preparing for the days of cooking and canning awaiting me after the harvest.
Keeping busy really isn’t helping to stem my anxiety and dread. What will Jon
say to Carson? What if Airen or Joseph start a fight or argument with him? I
have to make sure that doesn’t happen. It’ll only give him an opportunity to
lash out and throw my past in their faces. He’ll do it eventually anyway, but
I’m desperate to hold onto my guys as long as I can. How am I going to live
without them? Fuck. Why did he have to find me?
    Strong arms slide around my waist as a
firm chest presses against my back. Airen’s scent wraps around me like a warm
blanket. I’ve missed him. “Why didn’t you tell me it was Carson’s idea?”
    “It was between me and him. Honestly,
darlin’, I never thought he’d show up. I wanted Carson to know I tried
everything. I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known it would hurt you like this.
I’m sorry.”
    It’s unfair of me to blame him. He has no
idea what he’s done by leading Jon here. How could he? Turning in his arms, I
reach to thread my fingers through his hair and place a soft kiss on his lips. His
chest expands on a shuddering sigh and he rests his chin on my head. “I didn’t
mean to hurt you. Can you forgive me?”
    “Yes. I feel terrible for what I said,
Air. You’ve been a wonderful father to Carson. I’m so sorry.”
    “Water under the bridge, sweetheart.” He
kisses my forehead.
    “I didn’t mean it.”
    “I know. You were pissed. I understand.”
    I grin up at him. “Well, if anyone would.”
    A delicious little half smile graces his
lips. “Are you accusing me of being quick tempered?”
    “And hot blooded,” I add when his hand
wanders over my ass.
    “You know you like it,” he murmurs,
squeezing gently.
    Joseph smiles when he sees us with our
hands all over one another. “So, you’ve made up?”
    “Not properly.” Airen’s grin is wicked.
    “I’ve lost track of our schedule. Whose
night is it?” I ask.
    Joseph kisses my neck before pecking Airen
on the lips. “Doesn’t matter. You and Airen take tonight.”
    “No deal, dimples. We’re both staying with
our girl until things calm down.”
    “Ladybug?” Joseph murmurs, tucking an
errant lock of hair behind my ear.
    I nod. “Stay, please.” I want to spend
every moment I can with them before the shit hits the fan.
    Cuddled between them in bed, I feel safe
and warm, but my