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ridding the world of my beautiful Juan.”
    She glances down at the grass she’s splitting and then looks up. “How could you ever forgive him for that?”
    I know she won’t listen, but I try anyway. “My father investigated his death, and all leads pointed to the Orsini.”
    “Deep in my heart, I know it was Cesare, not only for the dukedom, but because I’d favored him.”
    “I know exactly why you loved him so.” I try to soften her.
    “Do you know there’s a rumor that Juan had received a letter sent from me before he went to the country, telling him to meet me alone in Rome and to not tell Cesare?”
    I straighten up with this news. “Did you send such a letter?”
    “Of course not, and only a handful of people even knew of our meetings.”
    “Who did you hear that rumor from?”
    “One of Juan’s groomsmen was there when the messenger arrived.”
    “Why did he not tell my father?”
    “He did, and your father said the matter was closed.” Her eyes bat as if she’s trying to keep them from rolling.
    I lay back and stare up at the sky. I don’t like to imagine it is possible.
    Her playfulness returns as soon as she sees my despair. “You better write him back right away. We don’t want a visit.” She laughs.
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    A month later, I’m running through the fields with Alfonso. Sancia shouts behind me, “You shouldn’t be running in your condition!”
    “I’m fine!” I yell back.
    Alfonso’s playfully tagging me and then running away. He’s too fast for me to catch, so I give up and walk to the top of the vineyard. The light’s glistening off the grapes, and the air smells sweet from the rotting grapes under the vines. Alfonso comes, gives me a tight hug, and then rolls all the way down the vineyard hill. I stand above with Sancia, laughing when Alfonso hits a tree at the bottom of the hill.
    I carelessly start to run after him and begin picking up speed. Sancia runs behind me, telling me to slow down. My ankle turns on the uneven ground, and I know before I hit the ground that I’ve made a terrible mistake. Sancia’s so close behind me that she careens into me on the ground. I feel the pain immediately, and Alfonso’s to me in seconds. His face is white with fear. He picks me up and carries me all the way back into the palace to my bed. I bleed for days, and the doctor informs us that I lost the baby girl. Alfonso and Sancia stay with me for three days and keep my spirits high.
    I’m pregnant again by the next month. Alfonso and Sancia are dancing after dinner one night as I look on, laughing every time Alfonso steps on Sancia’s foot, when we hear trumpeting and drumming coming up the drive to the palace.
    Alfonso’s eyes dart to me. “Are we expecting an envoy?”
    I shake my head curiously, and Sancia deduces, “Only one person I know would come unannounced with trumpet accompaniment.”
    She’s right. As we stand on the balcony above the drawbridge, I see Cesare leading the procession gallantly on his black horse adorned and shod in silver. Four horsemen on his sides hold a large canopy of gold and scarlet above his head. The whole envoy’s sparkling in silver, and I’ve never seen such fine horses.
    Sancia turns to Alfonso rigidly. “Are you going to entertain Cesare’s envoy?”
    Alfonso watches at me and says, “Lucrezia’s brother is welcome here as long as Lucrezia wills it.”
    “I’ve suddenly come down with something. I won’t be joining you all tonight.” She walks off the balcony.
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    “Sister, you look as heavenly as ever.” Cesare comes to kiss me in our dimly lit entrance hall, and I see as he draws near that he has horrible pits and scarring all over his once handsome face.
    I put my arms up involuntarily, and he draws back, but he says rather flippantly, “It’s only the French disease. I’m in its second stage, and this is what it does.”
    Besides the scarring, he seems to