Read In a Heartbeat for Free Online Page B

could skate like that.”
    She huffed out breaths of cold air. Her lips parted into a smile. “I used to be pretty good at one time.” She skated around me.
    “Why don’t you skate anymore?”
    Mom crinkled her nose. “That’s a good question. I guess I’m just too busy.”
    “Skate with me, Mommy,” I begged. “Please?”
    She bent down and took my hands. I felt her warm breath on my face. “Anything for you, Eagan.”
    She led me backward across the ice, making figure eights and going in circles until I was dizzy. We skated a long time, until my nose started running. Then we went inside and had hot chocolate.
    That was the only time I remember seeing Mom skate. It was one magical moment between the two of us.

    As I relive it now, I realize it’s my favorite skating moment. I saw a side of Mom that she didn’t often show. But I never asked her about her skating dreams. I never found out how far she’d gone in her own skating career. The fog that surrounds me is lifting. Maybe this memory has something to do with that.
    It occurs to me that there’s a reason I’m here. But what is it? Maybe it’s to wander around the dark edges of my life. Or to celebrate the life I had. If I’m dead, then I know that there’s one thing that continues in the afterlife: frustration.

10
    Amelia
    I woke up with a dry mouth, like I’d spent a week in the desert without water. I tried to speak. No sound came out. There was something in my throat; a tube connected to a machine snaked down inside me.
    I wanted to grab the tube, but my arms didn’t move. I turned my head. The tube turned too. My arms felt heavy, as if they were tied down.
    A nurse in a blue smock was checking a beeping machine right next to me. I wanted her to look at me. I willed her to look at me.
    She didn’t turn. I tried again to move my arms. So heavy. My throat was uncomfortable. Tears ran down my face, past my nose, and into the corners of my mouth.
    The ventilator had a strong smell, like antiseptic air. No matter what I’d read beforehand, I wasn’t prepared for the tube down my throat or my inability to swallow. My stomach felt queasy. Where were Mom and Dad?
    I blinked in the bright light above me, trying to adjust my eyes. Was the operation over? What was happening? Why did I feel so odd? I tried to focus on the back of the nurse’s smock, but the blue blended into the walls and she turned fuzzy.
    There was something strange about me. Something besides all the tubes and wires that snaked from my body as if from an overused outlet.
    I screamed but nothing came out. I was trapped in a nightmare. Yes, that’s what was happening. I had to go back to sleep so I could wake up in my own bed. That was easy enough. My eyes were so heavy. I wasn’t even surprised when the nurse turned into a horse, Dusty, the same mare I’d ridden before in my dream.
    I was on top of the horse, riding higher and faster than I’d ever thought possible. The horse came to a white fence and jumped over, turning in the air as he jumped. We hit the frozen ground. I hung on, dizzy and afraid that I’d fall and puke at the same time. I bumped my head on the horse’s mane. Pain shot through me but I didn’t let go. I clutched his ears and mane, holding on for dear life. It felt as if my weak heart would give out before my arms did, and I’d pass out or let go if the horse ran much longer. If I fell, I was sure I would be trampled by his hooves as he ran past.
    Then suddenly everything felt calm. I was still on top of the horse, still galloping at full speed through a grassy pasture, but now a surge of strength seemed to fill me from inside out. I felt free. I took a deep breath, a wonderful pain-free breath of fresh air. The ground streaked by, but I wasn’t scared anymore. The horse felt secure beneath me, and my body fell into his rhythm.
    I was one with this horse now, riding fast and free. A fluid motion of inner strength and balance traveled from the horse’s back