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weirdo you are, this would totally creep me out.”
    “I need your help,” I say.
    She purses her lips and considers me for a moment. “I missed breakfast and I’m starving. I’ll help you if you buy me some food.”
    “Okay.”
    We travel in silence to the cafeteria, mostly because Freya is walking so fast, I’m panting to keep up. Also, morning is a busy time on campus, and we have to weave in and out of the crowd of students heading to their classes to make it to the cafeteria.
    She orders a large stack of pancakes with eggs and sausage and picks up a few single-serving boxes of cereal on the way to the register.
    “Are you going to eat all that food now?” I ask as I swipe my card.
    “No,” she says around a mouthful of apple. “I’ll save some for later. Starving college student and all that.”
    We sit at a booth and while she’s shoveling food into her mouth, I tell her what happened yesterday when I knocked on Jensen’s door.
    “Are you sure you want to keep pursuing this? You’re a cute girl and all, but this is Jensen Walker. He’s like a bluefin tuna in a sea of canned albacore. The likelihood of catching him on your line is slim to none. I’m sure we could find you another guy to harass.”
    I hesitate for only a second, not sure I completely understand her metaphors before answering. “I’m sure. I’m not going to proposition him like you think I am. I’m going ask him questions. He’s the perfect candidate to help me further my emotional education due to the conflict he’s experiencing in his relationships. Plus, I think I might be attracted to him.” Not to mention the fact that I’m not attracted to anyone, ever. But yesterday, when I was staring at him, and the fact that he’s a bit of a mystery…
    “You think you’re attracted to him? You think ? Honey.” She wipes a bit of syrup off her mouth with a napkin and tosses it on the table, gazing at me with an intensity that would be frightening if she wasn’t five foot nothing and her voice was less squeaky. “The man is a god. Wooden posts find him attractive. Dogs jump six-foot fences for the opportunity to hump his leg as he passes. You’d have to be dead or blind to not find him attractive.”
    I’m not sure I agree with her assessment. Is this what most people think of Jensen? I noted his features were symmetrical and he’s conventionally handsome, but if I had known the female population held him in such high esteem I might have looked elsewhere. I may not understand most social conventions but I know when someone is out of my league, so to speak.
    “What do I do now?” I ask her.
    She finishes her last bite of pancake and grabs a flosser out of her bag and starts cleaning her teeth.
    “Well, let’s see.” S he throws the flosser on her plate after a moment. “You could lock yourself out of your house and use his phone to call the locksmith?”
    I consider the possible consequences of this scenario.
    “I’m not sure,” I say. “I don’t want to give him another opportunity to tell me no. Or what if he doesn’t answer his door?”
    She begins shoving the small cereal boxes into her bag along with some extra syrup packets and plastic forks she procured from the condiment counter. “Well, you’re the brain here, what do you think?”
    “I think I should just knock on his door and tell him what I want.”
    She gasps in horror. “No! Not that again!”
    “Why not?”
    “Because it’s crazy.” She finishes stuffing her bag and slams it on the bench seat for emphasis. “And he doesn’t know you. He’ll think you’re a weirdo and he’ll definitely say no.”
    I consider this. She’s probably correct. I should listen to her since she has friends and likely knows what she’s talking about, at least in comparison to myself.
    Another thought strikes me, inspired by her suggestion. “What if he was locked out of his house and had to come to me?”
    She raises her eyebrows at me. “How the hell are you