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program. They’re always heading to some college campus for lectures and what have you.
    I don’t know how she handles all the pressure. The math she takes is never ending. The teachers are incredibly intense. The other students are painfully boring. Becca loves it, though—the independence, the extra work, the quiet. It’s too bad the school insists she take half her classes with the commoners. It’s those mainstream classes that are complete torture for the girl. We’re such opposites.
    “Hello, Johnny.” Cassie raises her voice, thumping her hand on the back of the seat. “Are you in there?”
    “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I mumble, finally answering her. “I’m feeling fine, but thanks for that lovely compliment.”
    She groans but I ignore it, closing my eyes for my daily ten-minute catnap as Ava, aka Golden Retriever , squeals around the corner. Ava is a menace on the road, and her rundown Ford Focus smells like hardboiled eggs and oranges. But I’m thankful Cassie has her. And that she carts my ass to and from school.
    I used to ride home with Paul before Cass came out. Her announcement was just a month before the accident, and it took me completely by surprise. Looking back, there were so many signs, but I’d never looked at my sister in that way. I had no interest in her sex life; actually, I was happy she didn’t have one. She was always just Cass and that worked for me.
    She told all of us at dinner one night.
    “Well, okay, angel,” Mom said. “If that’s how it is, that’s how it is. I’m just happy you told us.”
    That was Mom. She took things in stride, which meant Dad did too. I fell in line as well. We were like these planets orbiting around Mom’s axis—she was the invisible force that held us together.
    Who didn’t take it in stride? My friends, especially the guys on the team. They had their jokes and jabs about Cass and various girls. It wasn’t long before I started to pull away from them, even from Paul. Dad knew what was going on. He said it was admirable I was siding with Cassie. What Dad didn’t know was that the guys gave me grief about a lot of things—that’s what happens when your brain doesn’t work right and people think you’re the school idiot. I wasn’t noble; I didn’t pull away only for her.
    After the fallout with the guys, I stopped riding to school with Paul. So Dad was always watching for a junker to come into the shop—one that he could get for a song and fix up real nice for me. We’ll have you in wheels by senior year, he said. Obviously that hasn’t happened, which is fine by me. I’m a little nervous about driving, anyway. I know I’m supposed to be all machismo about these things, but I don’t care.
    When Ava isn’t playing chauffeur to us, Becca is. She’s fine with driving—especially since she’s calculated the probability of both her and her sister being involved in fatal car wrecks. Evidently it’s not an issue.
    “I’m serious, Johnny.” Cassie smacks me in the arm. “What’s going on with you?”
    “Are you really asking me this today?” I open one eye. “Do I have to teach you the rules of sensitivity too? Because, frankly, Becca’s about all I can handle.”
    “This isn’t just about the anniversary.” She blows out a long breath. “It’s been going on longer than that and you know it. And Becca’s just as bad. That girl looks like the walking dead. Are you two okay?”
    “You didn’t dump her, did you, Johnny?” Ava interrupts. “Because you need to tread lightly with her.”
    “What?” I say. “No, I didn’t dump her. And she didn’t dump me either, not that you’d care.”
    I act hurt, but really I’m happy that Cassie and Ava have taken Becca in—though I have to admit, sometimes they get a little intense about it. They watch over her when I can’t. She needs it. Before, she always had Brit to rely on. Her sister did everything for her—the talking, the social planning, even setting them up on dates