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little money at all.”
    â€œIf you spend so little, why do you need more?” asked Eleanor, raising her eyebrows.
    â€œI don’t have to explain myself to you,” said Christie shortly. “Why I can’t speak directly to Edward about this, I don’t know. It’s all very annoying.”
    Not half as annoying as you,
thought Eleanor, choking slightly on her tea. She allowed Christie to continue her moans and complaints for a further twenty minutes, and then skillfully ushered her through the front door. Muse came scurrying down the stairs as soon as the coast was clear.
    â€œA fat lot of help you are,” said Eleanor. “Why can’t you scratch at her legs or something whenever she comes here? She might go a bit sooner if you did.”
    â€œI couldn’t do that!” said a shocked voice.
    Eleanor jumped. She looked around to make sure that Christie really had left, but there was no one in the room except for herself and Muse.
    â€œI’ve finally lost my mind,” she muttered to herself.
    â€œDid you ever have it to begin with?” shot back the strange voice.
    Eleanor looked at her cat suspiciously.
    â€œI know it’s not
you
talking to me, so why do I think that it is?”
    â€œOf course it’s me who is talking to you, Ella. Who else would it be?” said Muse. Or at least, possibly Muse.
    â€œCats can’t speak. That’s not possible.”
    â€œOf course we can speak; we’ve always been able to speak. You just need a certain type of human to understand us.”
    â€œA crazy one?” spluttered Eleanor, dropping into a chair.
    â€œWe prefer the term ‘open-minded’ as opposed to crazy. One doesn’t like to think we are living with unstable humans, after all.”
    â€œOh yes, I can understand that,” said Eleanor faintly. “Er, why have I never heard you before now?”
    â€œYou just weren’t listening right, dear. I’ve been communicating with you for quite some time now, but you’ve been rather distracted.”
    â€œI need a drink.”
    â€œNot the vodka, please, Ella dear.”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œWine is much better; more refined for a lady.”
    â€œI’ve never pretended to be a ‘lady,’ Muse,” snorted Eleanor, who was now enjoying the conversation, no matter how bizarre it seemed. She decided she was dreaming, and if that was the case, she would indulge in some vodka, even if it
was
far too early in the day.
    In the spirit of embracing her dream, Eleanor decided to confide in Muse about her embarrassing encounters with Charming, culminating in the recent flashing of her bottom. Muse was very understanding, and offered advice on her predicament.
    â€œYou should try to be more careful when you are out and about, my dear. I would definitely advise clothes that aren’t easy to come off, for example. And perhaps you should leave the high heels at home in the future.”
    â€œI wasn’t wearing heels or loose fitting clothes when I got stuck in the elevator,” pointed out Eleanor, as she downed a double vodka.
    â€œNo dear, but you weren’t being careful, were you, or you would have noticed your jacket getting caught in the door.”
    â€œThat’s true,” she sighed. “I can’t help it, though. That man makes me nervous.”
    â€œMaybe so, but you need to keep your wits about you. By the by, I strongly advise putting the lid back on that bottle. Your father is due in half an hour, and unless I’m mistaken, you still haven’t put the chicken in the oven.”
    â€œCrap!”
    â€œElla, please try to use a more ladylike refrain in the future. That isn’t very becoming language for a lady to use.”
    â€œYou sound like Christie.”
    Muse sniffed and walked out of the room with her tail in the air. Eleanor giggled, then pinched herself.
    â€œOw!”
    Double crap
. She hadn’t been