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all this when I know for a fact she’s hooked up with guys the first night she’s met them. One of whom she met just the week before.
    “But other than that, he’s fucking hot. Like hot as hell,” she relents with a contemplative smirk, returning to the friend I know.
    “Isn’t he?” I sigh, relieved that it isn’t just me reverting to a 15-year-old hormonal girl. Hillary looks at me, surprised. I’m usually not into a guy just based on looks. I couldn’t date anyone who I’d consider hideous but I’ve learned that a relationship can’t stand on attraction and the last two ‘hot guys’ I was with barely stood at all.
    My first boyfriend Daniel had brown eyes, matching hair and the most adorable dimples. I had known him since we were kids. My aunt always said he had the face of an angel and the mind of a demon. If only I knew how right she was. When Daniel and I first started dating we were both virgins and promised we’d be each others first and I thought we beat the odds until after I actually slept with him. Two days afterward and on my 18th birthday he reveals not only was he not a virgin but he wanted me to have a threesome with the other girl he’d been screwing while waiting for me.
    Then there was Michael. Of course that ended with me catching him screwing a girl where we both worked so in all honesty I should be running in the other direction from Cal. But there’s something else to him that makes me nervous and excited at the same time. It’s not the way he looks, aside from that he exudes this sexual magnetism that I can’t even describe—that I’ve never felt before and I’m kind of afraid of it.
    “Wow,” Hillary says, interrupting me from my thoughts.
    “What?” I ask curiously.
    “You’re blushing!” Hillary exclaims excitedly.
    “No, I’m not,” I deny quickly.
    “Lauren Brooks, if I didn’t know any better. I’d think you were in lust with him!” she says, her excitement growing.
    “Shut up, Hillary,” I whisper loudly hoping Cal doesn’t hear us.
    “Yeah you are. I may not know about love, but I know aaaallllll about lust and it’s all over you,” she giggles, thumping me in the chest with her finger accusingly.
    “You reek of it! Lust at first sight,” she bursts into laughter.
    “Shh!” I say again pressing my index finger to my lips as hard as I can. She’s never going to shut up about this. “Okay. Maybe I am just a little,” I admit and I start to I have doubts.
    “You know what? I’m not going to go!” I proclaim. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I can’t even think straight around this man. Why would I go anywhere with him alone? I don’t need a repeat of Michael mixed in with Daniel. Who knows what dumb decision I’ll make?
    “What? Why? Are you crazy?” she yells at me.
    I looked at her with a perplexed expression on my face. A moment ago she was just bad-mouthing him, but now since she thinks I want to sleep with him, she’s all for it.
    “But you just said earlier—” I exclaim, confused.
    “You’’ve fucked what two guys? Both of which you were in relationships with. And, sweetie that guy out there does not look like a relationship kind of guy,” she explains taking a seat on my bed.
    “Okay, so, again, why do you think it’s crazy that I don’t go out with him?” I say confused.
    “Because you’re in lust with him Lauren!” she exclaims, as if it should be obvious. I rub my temples, becoming extremely frustrated with this situation.
    “Look, go out. Have fun. Fuck his brains out but be prepared to only hear from him when he wants…”
    I raise my hand up to cut her off. I can’t hear any more of this. She’s giving me a headache.
    But she continues, “Lauren, it’s not a bad thing to just hook up. Especially after all the boring let’s make vows to one another sex you’ve had. Trust me, it will be liberating! And how long has it been since you’ve gotten any? Have you ever even had a walk of shame before?” she