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not written to me yet. I am
    also busy finishing up my studies in university. I will leave for the
    army in about three months. I am looking forward to serving my
    country, but more than that, I am looking forward to leaving the army
    because that is when you will come back to Germany and we will be
    married. My mother is already talking about the wedding plans. Is your
    mother excited about the wedding? Women can be so funny about
    those things. (I hope you know that I do not mean any harm in this
    sentence!)
    I went to a party last night at Rolf’s parents’ home. All of our friends
    were there, but it seemed so lonely without you. I cannot wait until we
    can go to parties together once again.
    That is all for now. Know that I love you and miss you so much. Please
    write me as soon as your schoolwork permits.
    Love with all my heart,
    Stefan
     
    With tears in her eyes, Melissa stood up and grabbed a tissue from her dressing table. My poor Stefan , she thought. How could I have done what I did to you? Melissa wiped her tears and blew her nose. She pulled a few more tissues from the box and sat back down on her bed. She picked up her pad and pen and began to write.
     
    This letter still makes me cry. It shows how much Stefan loved me.
    How could I have hurt him? He deserved much better than I ever gave
    him. I will have to live with this for the rest of my life. I ruined my life
    at the age of eighteen. Nothing will ever be the same for me. I know
    that I’ll never feel that kind of love again.
     
    Melissa put her pen and pad back down. She carefully picked up Stefan’s letters to put them back in the shoebox. As she looked into the box, she saw the rough draft of the letter she sent to him. She remembered how many times she started and stopped that letter. Melissa lifted the letter out of the box and read it as well.
     
    Dear Stefan:
    This is the hardest letter that I have ever written. I don’t know quite
    where to begin. I will not be returning to Germany in two years to
    marry you. I have thought about this, and I believe that it is for the best
    if we do not contact each other anymore.
    I feel that the things we said to each other were not true. We are both
    very young and what we shared this summer was nothing more than a
    summer fling or infatuation. We need to move on and just keep the
    memories of this past summer as something that we can recall fondly.
    It was a good time, but we do not love each other.
    I do not love you.
    Goodbye,
    Melissa
     
    Melissa sat and stared at the letter while tears streamed down her cheeks. She picked up the tissues, wiped her eyes, and blew her nose again. She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. Melissa picked up her pen and pad and began to write.
     
    I still can’t believe that I actually sent this letter to Stefan. The letter is
    full of lies. I did love him. I still love him. I remember the telephone
    call I received from Brigitte two weeks after I sent the letter to Stefan.
    Brigitte was furious with me and rightly so. She told me that Stefan
    was devastated by my letter. She went on to tell me that Stefan sat in
    his dark bedroom listening to Beatles records over and over. He told
    Rolf that listening to the Beatles made him feel closer to me. My poor
    Stefan. How I hurt him. I hate myself for what I’ve done to him. But I
    also hate my parents and sister for forcing me to do it. I remember how
    happy they all were when I wrote that letter to Stefan. It still makes me
    feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it.
     
    Melissa threw the pen and pad down on the floor. She lay down on her bed and cried into her pillow as she had every night all those years ago. She thought about how wonderful her life could have turned out if she would have gone back to Germany and back to Stefan. She thought about how she spent the last six years of her life and she cried even harder.
    After what seemed like hours, Melissa finally sat up, wiped her eyes and blew her