realized I have to take a dump. Is that okay with you?” He shuts the door
and to his credit, doesn’t slam it.
I walk and say through the closed door, “Oh, happy
day. I’m having so much fun! You???!!”
He doesn’t answer, which is upsetting. Ignoring me
is pretty much the worst thing you can do… it drives me insane. All of my
gravity leaves me and I float into rage-land. I head to the bedroom and look
back to the closed bathroom door, shake my head and against my better judgement,
slam the door. I have a temper. This sucks big donkey balls. Truth be told,
things have been tense ever since the night he came to my office. And then with
last night’s unexpected whammy, well I know I should say something about it,
but I’m waiting for him to.
I’m a Taurus. If I were a Capricorn, maybe I’d
cave faster.
The security buzzer beeps and it takes everything
in my power to stay put. I’m not getting it. I’m sure it’s the movers and he’s
the one moving in so he should get it. I even have to tuck my hands under my
butt as I sit on the bed and wait. I strain to listen but don’t hear him come
out of the bathroom. The buzzer sounds again. I bite my lip. Is he going to get
it? I’ll count to three and then I’ll get up and get it myself. One…. Two…
BUZZ.
“JOSH ARE YOU GOING TO GET THAT?”
The bathroom door opens and he irately mutters,
“Yeah, I got it. I thought you were going to get it. You’re the woman with all
the say!”
I jump up and run to the door, open it and look
out into the hallway, ready to yell, but there he is, holding the hugest
bouquet of lavender and pink flowers that I forgot I ordered as a welcome for
him. They’re gorgeous, the largest I’ve ever seen… outside of a funeral.
“Oh wow. Look at those! They’re beautiful!” When I
meet his eyes I see the graveness of my error.
He glares from me to the flowers and says,
“They’re great. Thanks.” He sets them down on the ground and walks right out
the door.
What the fuck.
That’s it. I’m caving. I chase him down the
stairs. “Josh! Josh, hang on.” He keeps walking. “JOSH!”
Not stopping he growls, “Amber, I’m really pissed
off right now and I just need to think.”
I stop and say weakly, “I love you.”
He freezes on a stair some ways below me. Four
long seconds pass before he turns around, surprised. “What?”
I touch the banister to steady myself, terrified,
and say it again, “I love you.”
Confusion and relief take turns as he admits, “I
love you, too, Amber.”
“Just
because we’re fighting, doesn’t mean I don’t love you, okay? I need you to know
that.” I reach my hand out.
He comes up the stairs and takes my tiny hand as a
tear forms in the corner of my eye. I don’t push it away or try to hide it, for
once. He roughly pulls me to him and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck
and kiss him back so hard.
Our mouths separate and he puts his forehead to
mine, standing a step below me on the staircase. “Wow. I can’t believe we’re
fighting like this on our first day together.”
“Me neither,” I squeak.
“I’m sorry, Amber.”
“No it’s me!! I’m the one who’s sorry!”
“Can I put the poster up in the hallway?”
“No.”
He laughs and gives me a gentle kiss. One of my
neighbors – young hipster guy with a fedora, skinny jeans, a scarf and
aviator sunglasses – walks up and excuses himself as he passes. Neither
Josh nor I, move. I think we’re both afraid the fight will break out again if
we let go of each other. “Amber?”
“Yeah?” Our foreheads are still touching and it
feels nice. You can’t yell when you’re this close.
“I’m just mad about the film and finding out that
you…” he trails off. We both know.
“I’m so sorry.” I don’t know what else to say. Can
I explain to him in a way he can understand? “It’s just I… I didn’t…” I search
for the words but he finds them first.
“It’s your job. Work is work.