I can make you hate

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Book: Read I can make you hate for Free Online
Authors: Charlie Brooker
what happened.’
    Way to spread the pain around, Jan. Way to link two unrelated tragedies, Jan. Way to gay-bash, Jan.
    Jan’s paper, the
Daily Mail
, absolutely adores it when people flock to Ofcom to complain about something offensive, especially when it’s something they’ve only learned about second-hand via an inflammatory article in a newspaper. So it would undoubtedly be delighted if, having read this, you paid a visit to the Press Complaints Commission website to lodge a complaint about Moir’s article on the basis that it breaches sections 1, 5 and 12 of its code of practice.
    *
     
    After this article was written, over 25,000 people did indeed complain to the PCC about Jan Moir’s article, although how many of them did so after reading this is anyone’s guess. The PCC eventually found in favour of the
Daily Mail,
saying that, although it was ‘uncomfortable with the tenor of the columnist’s remarks’, censuring the paper would represent ‘a slide towards censorship’.
    Which is fair enough, really. I think columnists should have the right to air offensive views, so I don’t really know why I encouraged readers to lobby the doomed, meaningless PCC; I think I just wanted to use one of the Mail’s own tactics against it – the paper often urges readers to complain to official bodies about things it deems offensive. But that’s not really got anything to do with poor Stephen Gately. By implying Jan Moir had no right to spout her unpleasant bibble, I somehow ended up, to my mind, on the wrong side of a tricky freedom-of-speech debate.
    Still, no matter what mistakes I may have made in the above column, and no matter where you stand on the freedom of speech, it’s essential that we all try to learn from everything that happened – as a people, as a society. And ultimately the moral of the story and the single most important thing to remember is this: Jan Moir is a twat.

PART TWO
     
    In which Jedward are born, Dubai is revealed to be a figment of the world’s imagination, and snow falls from the sky to the amazement of Britain’s rolling news networks.
     
     
     

Jedward: the Jenesis
16/10/2009
     
    A bit of background, because let’s face it no one remembers this stuff: at the time this article originally appeared, celebrity dance prick Anton Du Beke was in trouble for using the word ‘Paki’ during some ill-advised backstage tomfoolery, Dannii Minogue had upset
X Factor
viewers with a mild gag about a contestant’s sexuality, and following a blackmail attempt, US talk show giant David Letterman had made an on-air apology for having sex with members of his staff. Also, human beings had recently learned to walk on two legs.
    *
     
    The times, they are a-jumpy. Really, when we’re upset by something as simple as a man shouting a racially abusive term across a room full of people, or a woman teasing an aspiring pop star about his sexuality in front of 13 million viewers, isn’t it time to wonder whether political correctness and basic human decency have gone too far? Apologies flutter through the airwaves like startled doves. ‘Forgive me,’ plead the transgressors, ‘for I knowed not what I done. It was a joke! Geddit? Upsetting Pakis or poofs was the last thing on my mind. Really! And I’m sorry!’
    From Anton Du Beke on
Strictly
to Dannii Minogue on
The X Factor
; at this rate, every show on TV will soon need to incorporate an on-air apology into its opening sequence. Unless, like Letterman, they make directly apologising down the lens a regular ‘format point’ in the programme itself. Christmas is traditionally the time when
Strictly
and
The X Factor
fight to see who can pull off the biggest climax, kicking ratings into the sky with displays of consummate showmanship. Instead, this year they’ll be fighting to see which of their respective foot- in-mouth stars can issue the most spectacularly wretched request for forgiveness.
    ‘Next on BBC1, Anton Du Beke prostrates himself before

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