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she was psychic. I’d never asked her out loud, but she was strangely attuned to my emotions. Any time I was upset, I’d get a call or text in minutes. If she caught any of the sex, she never mentioned it.
    My phone rang as I punched in a reply. Composing a message took forever on my old-style cell.
    “I’m fine.”
    “Right. That’s why I’m sick to my stomach right now. You’re ruining my enjoyment of this pint of Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip.”
    Uh oh. “Did you guys break up?”
    A loud sniffle sounded followed by rueful laughter. “Yeah. I hate it when you’re right, M.”
    A spoon scraping porcelain followed by a loud sigh vibrated in my ear.
    “So, what’s your deal? Your anxiety is making my pity party worse times, like, fifty. You were, uh, fine earlier and then whammo! Sledge hammer o’ upsettedness to the forehead.”
    “I tried to call my parents and can’t reach them.”
    And had a vampire here yesterday who can read minds. He was super-hot and gave me an amazing orgasm before he made me bacon. But I can’t see him again because he’s going to totally screw up my life.
    “Oh, is that all? And when did we have the breakthrough in our ‘determined not to associate with our family’ psychosis?”
    “Ah well…I guess I just realized it’s stupid to keep shutting them out.” My thumbnail came off in my teeth, and I moved onto the forefinger, biting it down to the quick.
    The clank of metal on porcelain and more rustling came through the phone’s speaker.
    “Right.” Anna sighed loudly. “I guess you can tell me the truth later. Hopefully you settle down enough so both of us can get some rest.”
    “If you’d come with me to see Lane, I’m sure she could—”
    “M. Please. You know how I feel about that bullshit. Next thing you’ll be telling me ghosts are real and you’re holding leprechauns hostage in your basement.”
    For someone with obvious gifts, Anna could be incredibly dense. I didn’t push her too hard about it though. Then I’d have explaining of my own to do about what I am. Our relationship works well because she doesn’t ask too many questions and neither do I.
    “All right I’ll try to settle down. Maybe drink a box of wine or two. It’s probably nothing. Maybe they’re on vacation. What happened with Dennis the Stache?”
    Her latest guy, while cute enough, wore ridiculous facial hair. One of those guys whose beard came in all spotty and thin, but he insisted on trying to grow a goatee and mustache. And something was off about him that I couldn’t put my finger on. I don’t know why Anna didn’t see it. Maybe she didn’t want to. On the surface he’d seemed fine, lack of horny thoughts aside.
    “Ugh. Well, he would rather be with someone else. Who’s not female.” Embarrassment colored the words. I grimaced in sympathy.
    “So he took you to the Falls and started trolling?”
    “No. No. I don’t think he knows it. The sex was just, I don’t know, just OK. And even when I would try to go kneepads optional on him, he wouldn’t always get it up.”
    “OK, but that’s not necessarily a sign of anything. He could just be stressed out from work or whatever, right? You never had a feeling before?” I popped a few jelly beans in my mouth and flopped onto the couch.
    “No, the lack of bombardment was part of the appeal. It’s hard to date when you’re trying to ignore all the sex feelings. Combine lust with anger or jealousy and it’s a no fly zone. As far as stress…that’s what I thought at first. But he took me out. To a club. Said he wanted to buy me a lap dance. Like a kinky sex thing. That’s fine. Whatever. Only once we were there, it was obvious he was more turned on by watching the strippers than me getting rubby with the guy and was disgusted with himself for it. So I left.”
    “Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Look, it’s time for you to meet Lane. You gotta get this under control.”
    “No. Absolutely not. I’m not into that New Age