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wore’ Bette Davis

    A body is like a cello. Your job is to work out how to play it.
    Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, and as much as we’d all like to have ‘the perfect A1 figure’ that the magazines showcase, we don’t. It’s called individual character. We all have different features to work with. Know your body shape, or at least have an honest idea of what it is like without airbrushing and Lycra, and learn how to maintain it.
    Unfortunately some form of fitness or exercise is recommended, but it needn’t be too ghastly – it can include dancing, yoga and shopping.
    To be able to accessorise and enhance what you have been born with, decide are you:

    Bean pole
    Audrey Hepburn? Jacquetta Wheeler?
    Waif
    Twiggy? Kate Moss?
    Top heavy
    Jayne Mansfield? Sophia Loren?
    Pear shaped
    Monica Belluci? Catherine Zeta Jones?
    Masculine
    Marlene Dietrich?
    Belle of the bottoms
    Jennifer Lopez? Beyoncé?
    Curvy
    Marilyn Monroe? Bardot?
    Tall
    Nicole Kidman?
    Petite
    Kylie Minogue?

    Stand in front of a full-length mirror, if not at home, in a private shop fitting room (don’t torture yourself in the communal ones). Look and learn.
    Work with the good bits. You’ve got underpinning and underwiring bras, and knickers that can streamline and enhance your silhouette at your disposal, so make sure you build a good base to drape your designer labels on. Tailor around your finest assets, and draw attention to these rather than focusing on the negative.
    As Sophia Loren said, ‘A woman’s dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.’
    The most important thing is to be honest, as once you know your strengths, and any weaknesses, you can know what to hide and what to flaunt. ‘Keep your friends close, your enemies closer’ is very true when understanding what you are left with when the lights go off.
    If you have:

    A tiny waist
    Choose low slung skirts/pants. Knot shirts at waist. Cropped tops are not just for Britney but they are for moments of extreme confidence and reckless abandon, aka holidays and special occasions.
    Ample cleavage
    Wear necklaces to draw the eye down. Open-necked shirts. Strappy tops are great so you don’t look bound in or constricted but only opt for spaghetti option if you have enough support elsewhere.
    Enhanced cleavage
    Pick V-neck jumpers, or again dangling necklaces that draw the eye down. Padded uplift bras are a given.
    Broad shoulders
    Go easy on the shoulder pads, favour cardigans and soft open tops, or structured tailoring.
    Chunky thighs
    Wear loose palazzo pants. Flowing skirts.
    Chicken arms
    Cover shoulders, wear shawls, pashminas or chiffon capped sleeves.
    Long legs
    Lucky you. Wear minis – why hide them?
    A shapely derrière
    You need to show it off. Pencil skirts.
    Big tummy
    Wear baggy shirts over trousers, empire-line dresses, suit jackets and nothing too fitted at the waist.
    Big hips
    Again you can conceal with loose baggy tops, flowing feminine skirts and highlighting another area.
    Oversize proportions
    Remember that big is beautiful. To streamline and slenderise, head-to-toe black works.

    It is a fact that no one will ever look good in:

    Horizontal stripes
    White jeans
    Flannel tracksuits
    White tights
    Blue lipstick
    Wellington boots
    Dungarees

    Ugg boots – ugh! Cute? Perhaps. Comfortable? Yes. Flattering? No. Take a look at your ankles. Don’t be the mug who tries to disprove a theory.

    How to stick to a gym membership
    When you join a gym tell everyone. Not only will you get the credit for joining, there will also be the added worry that if you don’t stick to it you will be ridiculed. Buy yourself some new gym clothes.
    Ideally go with a friend. Depending on how your mind works either go with a thin friend – who looks better than you and where the rivalry will encourage you to work twice as hard. Or – the easier option – seek out the overweight woman corner of the room and work out there. That way