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piece of my hair that's been caked with mud. "I really don't recall exactly how I ended up straddling him."
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    We're sitting on the front lawn of my grandmother/ uncle/aunt/cousin's house. Ron does that thing with his hand through his hair again.
    And then unending silence. Should I explain what happened? I'm not afraid to admit I want to be in control of my life.
    Don't ask me why, I just blurt out, "I felt like everybody was watching and analyzing me and it sucked so I ran."
    "Did you kiss Avi?"
    "Who's Avi?"
    SD gives me the you've-got-to-be-kidding look.
    I stand up.
    "No! Why? Did Cousin Snotty say I did? Listen, there were vicious dogs chasing me--"
    He looks down at the mutt who hasn't figured out my feet aren't his personal playground.
    "Like that one?" he says.
    I shake the thing off my leg. "No. Yes. Well, they looked like him, but were a lot bigger. And so I ran and sort of fell on Snotty's boyfriend."
    "Her name is O. S. N. A. T. Osnat. It's a beautiful name."
    "Not where I come from."
    "Just...just give her a chance. Don't judge her before you get to know her."
    I want to argue, to tell SD Snotty hated me before she knew me, but I'm keeping silent. Right now I'll attribute my lack of ability to argue to sleep deprivation because usually I'm ready for a good knockdown-dragout verbal war.
    "Fine," I say.
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    "And stop calling her Snotty."
    Geez, you give the guy a little and like a vacuum cleaner he wants to take up all the dirt, not just the little pieces of lint.
    "Fine. Where's Sofia?. I'm ready to meet her now if there aren't any spectators around."
    "She's resting in her room. No spectators, I promise."
    This would be about the time I have the urge to hug the SD. But it would feel weird because I haven't hugged him in years.
    SD stands and I follow him into the house. Once we enter, the smell of fresh baked bread wafting from the kitchen makes my stomach growl.
    "Come eat," Dodo Yucky says. She's lost a bit of her cheery disposition. Is it because she thinks I kissed O.S.NAT's boyfriend?
    "Thanks, but I'm not hungry." I'm too nervous to eat. Ron leads me to a small room at the back of the house and I peek in the door.
    Sofia is lying down on her bed. When she sees me enter, she sits up.
    I swallow hard and close the door behind me. The room is small, the floor is made of tile, and the walls are stark white cement. The drapes are closed, so it's a little dark. But that's the way I want it now, because I don't want the world peeking into my conversation.
    "Hi, Sofia. I'm Amy," I say. My voice cracks while I'm saying it and I feel a little foolish.
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    She nods and pats the side of the bed. "Come over here, Amy. Sit with me."
    I take small, slow steps to her bed. When I reach it, I carefully sit on the edge. To my surprise, she takes my hand in hers.
    "Are you really sick?" I ask tentatively.
    "I'll be fine. You know doctors, they like to make a big fuss about nothing."
    "Ron thinks you're real sick," I say, and then want to suck those words right back in my mouth.
    She shakes her head. "Your father needs to have his cup examined. That means 'head' in Yiddish. Imagine, keeping my granddaughter from me for sixteen years."
    "Yeah," I say, urging her on. I like Safta immediately.
    "What's your mother like?" she asks, changing the subject.
    How do I describe Mom?
    "She's pretty, for a mom," I say. "And she has a job that pays her a lot of money. She doesn't have a lot of friends, though, 'cause she's always working."
    I watch as Safta takes this all in.
    "And tell me about yourself."
    "I do okay in school, I guess. My best friend's name is Jessica ...she's Jewish," I add to make some connection to Safta on the religious end. "And I like to play tennis, ski, and shop."
    She nods her head. "I'm going to like getting to know you, Amy. You sound like a very energetic, interesting girl."
    "I should add I don't have the most positive attitude," I say while biting my bottom lip nervously. I mean, the
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    lady'll figure