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remember exactly the name of the festival or where it was located. To be honest, being 31 now, I try to block it out sometimes.
The kid was working on the tilt-a-whirl ride. The whole thing was his idea. He was like, "Well, you know my boss isn’t here. I got a place for us to go." I don’t have a clue who he had running the tilt-a-whirl cars when he wasn’t there. Those people must have been on that tilt-a-whirl ride for like a good 10 minutes, not even ‘cause it was like maybe a five-minute walk to the semi truck and then it took 30 seconds long and then we walked back. The walk was pretty much the whole duration of the time we were gone. I mean it was like barely touching one another. He wasn’t even a one-minute man. That’s how I lost mine and I promised myself that I wouldn’t do it again ‘cause it was just horrible. I tried with a few other boys and then I met the first woman that I slept with and then it dawned on me, "Yeah, I’m not supposed to be having sex with boys ever. I’m supposed to be a boy."

So a couple years later I met the first woman I slept with. I was in a park and she was rollerblading and she ended up falling near me and I helped her get up.
She kept saying that her ankle was hurt and I was like, "OK, it’ll be all right. I’ll help you to your car. Maybe you should go to the hospital." I could care less, to be honest. I just wanted to leave with this pretty girl. I was like, "Sweet. She’s got a convertible and she’s pretty. I’ll sit in the car with her." Well we didn’t end up at the hospital. We ended up at her place. There wasn’t anything about her that said lesbian, specifically. There’s just that thing inside you that says, "This is one I could hit on." In the car I was kind of like playing around with her neck and telling her, "Oh, it’s going to be OK. We’ll get to the hospital." Then I was like, "Oh, I bet you have your own place." She was about 12 years older than me. I was like, "I bet it’s cool having your own place." She’s like, "Well, yeah." And I was like, "Maybe I should see it sometime." "Well, we could go there now." I was like, "Sweet. I’m ready."
In all honesty I barely ever count the first time on the tilt-a-whirl as the actual time because it did absolutely nothing for my sexual development whatsoever. It was just something that closeted me more. But as far as with the woman that I slept with, I just remember feeling a big sigh of relief.
It was clumsy, but it was good. I was like, "I think I know how to take off pantyhose." I ripped them off. I was good at that." I mean, I can’t get the crap on but I can get the shit off.
And it dawned on me that guys weren’t really what I was wanting. It was one of those things where, your first time you hope that you feel like you’re on cloud nine, and it should be totally exhilarating and that’s what my first time with a woman was like.
She gave me a ride home, at which point my dad asked me, "Who was that?" I was like, "I don’t know." "Then how did you get in her car?" "I… I don’t know, Dad. I don’t. I have no clue." And I hid in my bedroom for the next few days. I was a little creeped out afterward. When I was growing up you generally didn’t really talk about stuff like that when I was growing up. So I didn’t really exactly know how to define what happened so I went into hiding, kept a little to myself until eventually I decided, "That was good. I want to do it again." I was a little monster from that moment on and hitting on girls at the mall and taking girls home. Then I went to college and that was a free-for-all.

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Tiffany, 29

I explain first time sex as a pain you can take. And you do it over and over and over again until you’re good at it. My boyfriend was 19 and he had a very big cock.
It happened in his bedroom on his waterbed. At 16 I was truly too immature to have sex. When I went home I looked in the mirror and I thought, "Do I look different? Are people going to