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leaned forward. “You’re not serious are you, Debbie? I mean, all of us have our fantasies, but joining the Amish never was one of mine. And for you I never imagined it either.”
    â€œI probably couldn’t join their faith…at least not at first,” Debbie said, not looking at Doug. “Mom wants me out of the house as soon as possible. If I have to pay room and board somewhere, I’m hoping it can be with the Beilers. They have the rooms upstairs their two boys left when they married. It would be perfect for me—if they’ll have me, of course. That’s the big question.”
    Doug was dumbfounded. “Debbie, you’re not making the least bit of sense!”
    â€œDoes my life make sense now, Doug?” Debbie leaned forward on the table. “Ask yourself that question. Do I really fit in with yourworld…your plans…your future?” There! She’d said it. Let the chips fall where they may.
    The waitress arrived with their food, so neither of them said anything for a while.
    Doug picked up his pizza, broke off a small piece, and popped it into his mouth.
    For once Debbie knew what she wanted to say. “Would you mind if we prayed before we eat?”
    â€œWhoa!” He wiped his brow of imaginary sweat. “What has gotten into you, woman? We’ve never done that before.”
    â€œMaybe it’s time we did. Or time I did, anyway.”
    He laughed and put down his pizza. “I don’t get you, Debbie. Really, I don’t.”
    â€œWell, I’m praying,” Debbie said, bowing her head. When she looked up moments later, she noticed Doug had done the same, although he appeared red in the face.
    â€œYou’re really getting out of my league, Debbie. I don’t know what to say. You’ve changed.”
    â€œYes, I suppose I have,” she said. “I guess finally finishing college and getting a job have made me change. Made me take stock of what I really want.”
    He touched her hand. “What do you really want, Debbie? I asked you to come here to talk about our future, hoping that is what you want. We go back many years. All through college I’ve waited for you, Debbie. I haven’t dated any other girls because I like you. And occasionally you’ve given me encouragement to believe you feel the same way about me as I do about you. Has it all been for nothing? Is that how this is going to turn out?”
    She met his gaze. “I honestly don’t know, Doug. It’s just that I’ve been thinking the past few days. Wondering how I can find peace with the way things are in our world.”
    â€œSo you’re serious about the Amish thing?” His fingers moved on her hand.
    Debbie sighed. “I’m serious about finding out if I might fit. Although with me, who knows? I go up and down like a yo-yo. Scared of my own shadow. Afraid to step out and pursue what I really want. This morning an Amish girl embarrassed me. She has more nerve than I do, Doug. She’s surrounded by a family and a community who oppose her feelings and beliefs, yet she dares to express them. Maybe nothing will come of it, but she at least speaks what she wants. And yet I don’t dare say similar words to those I love. What kind of courage is that?”
    Doug leaned back in his chair. “So where does that leave us, Debbie? Are you saying I’m wrong for you?”
    â€œDoug, please.” She touched his arm. “I didn’t mean it like that. This really is about me.”
    â€œSounds an awfully lot like you’re sending me off gently into the night.”
    â€œDoug, I don’t mean to hurt you. I’d never intentionally do that. I guess I’ve told you this because you were the closest person to me when it first wanted to spill out.”
    â€œDoesn’t that tell you something?” he asked. “I’m you’re listening ear. You need me.”
    â€œDoug, you’re