is happening here. I drop the paper and it floats to the floor. I back away from it and find the cold wall on my back and I slide down. I bring my knees up and my head falls into my hands that are resting on my knees. I can’t stop thinking about this. What is happening? How is this happening? Ben Pearson my next target. Can I do it? Is it possible for me to do this? I’m literally shaking, my stomach is knotting and I think I’m going to throw up. I jump up and run to the bathroom and lose all the contents of my stomach. My heart is palpitating but this time it’s not for the same reason it was before.
I’m feeling one thing.
Fear.
Not for me but for Ben.
What am I going to do? If I don’t take him out, the target will be on me and someone else will come and take him out. What do I do?
I’ve been sitting in the bathroom trying to decide what to do. I’m not sure how much of the day I’ve been sitting in here for. Slowly my heart beat returns to a normal rate. I think I know what I need to do. First thing is to get back to St Cloud and see if this 2022 Lionsgate Road where Ben lives is where I think it is. This target is going to be a little more difficult than what I have ever done before. Not difficult in a way that I won’t be able to get to him, because let’s face it I can get to anyone. But difficult in a way that once my finger is on that trigger it’ll be a shot I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to take. I’ve never had any issues with any target in my 13 years. But Hit 149, also known as Ben Adrian Pearson will be my most difficult. I’m just not sure that I’ll be able to bring myself to taking that fatal shot.
I lift myself from the bathroom and I head into the bedroom. It’s 2pm now and I know where my travels will take me. Minnesota. More specifically, St Cloud. Even more specifically, home. I get my suitcase out and start packing the few things I need to take with me. My mind is still racing about this hit. I will stay at the cabin in the woods just outside of St Cloud. I bought it a few years back. I’ve never actually stayed there yet, but I thought it would come in handy if I had to lay low for any period of time. It’s not fitted out like any of my other properties. The only thing I have done to it is to build that safe room – the steel box. Just like all my others, it doesn’t house the artillery that the others have - yet. The trip from Salt Lake City to Minnesota takes 16 hours with no traffic. I won’t fly because I need to bring my babies with me. So I’ll stock my car. I think I’ll take the BMW. There’s enough room in the BMW to house everything I need. I will stop half way there and sleep for the night. But I’ll need to find a hotel that has secure parking. I’m not leaving any of the sniper rifles or Glocks or Colts in the BMW for anyone to get to. They are what I need for work so they come with me. My other apartments all have safe rooms that house weapons so I don’t need to lug my babies around. The only ones that are always on me or near me are my beautiful Glocks. The 2 I’ve had custom made, they have a shiny smooth gold body and a pink mother of pearl grip. They sit in my hand perfectly and they look awesome. Because they were made to order for me, they also cost me a great amount of money. More than they ordinarily would. But I don’t care. I’m a Glock girl. They were my first gun and they are what I want. They have never misfired or jammed and they have never caused me a problem.
I’ve been driving for a while and I’m on the inside of South Dakota border. I’ll be stopping soon. I’m so tired. And all I have done is think about this whole fucked up situation. There are road signs to Minnesota and I keep thinking that if I just take a different turn off I’ll be able to spare Ben Pearson his life. But what I do know is that, if I turn off, if I detour, Ben Pearson is dead anyway. Because someone else will come for him. If he is to die, he is