Read His Ordinary Life for Free Online Page B

“They’re getting a divorce. You know, not married anymore. Not in love anymore.”
    “You don’t know that. Mama says all the time that Daddy still loves us. He could still love her, too.”
    An icy arrow pierced his heart and he leaned against the wall, head bent. Mama said what all the time? Sweet Jesus, had he left his children that insecure, that Barbara had to assure them of his love?
    That’s a dumb-ass question, you stupid son of a bitch. You left them. What are they supposed to believe?
    “He doesn’t love her, Lys. Not that way.”
    His head lifted. Not love Barbara? Of course he still loved her. He’d never stopped. He just hadn’t been able to stay once he realized the way she really felt about him. Hadn’t she told him what a mistake marrying him had been? She didn’t want or need him anymore, and he tried not to think about what he’d had and lost. The cold loneliness tightened his lungs.
    “What if they fell in love again?” Eternal hope lingered in Lyssa’s voice.
    “And what if Blake stops being a jerk? Get real, Lys.”
    “It could happen.”
    “It could, but it won’t. Daddy’s happy in Atlanta. He likes it.”
    “He’d be happier with us,” Lyssa insisted, her testy tone invaded by a hint of Calvert stubbornness.
    “Give it up! He doesn’t want to be with us. If he did, he’d be here. All the time.”
    The words rained down like heavyweight punches. His stomach clenched as though the blows were physical. Eyes closed, he rested his head against the wall. His daughter, his baby , thought he didn’t want her, didn’t love her mother, didn’t want any of them.
    She couldn’t be more wrong. He wanted them all with a visceral hunger so deep he hurt. He wanted his life back.
    What’s to keep him from sneaking out again?
    If he did, he’d be here. All the time.
    Then that’s what he’d do. He’d stay and begin winning back what he’d thrown away. He opened his eyes and stared across the gym at Blake, now reading a Steinbeck novel on the bleachers. Starting with keeping his son safe.
    Maybe along the way, he could convince Barbara he wasn’t the worst mistake she’d ever made.
    When she heard what he had in mind concerning Blake, though, she was going to throw a fit.
    The girls tumbled out of the locker room, carrying gym bags and their backpacks. Anna didn’t meet his eyes; Lyssa stopped short and stared at him. “Daddy. How long—”
    “I just walked over to find you.” He forced a smile, relieved when the tension drained from his daughter’s face. He draped an arm over her shoulder and hugged her to him. “Hungry?”
    “Yeah!”
    “Good.” He reached out to ruffle Anna’s hair, stopped, and touched her cheek instead. His chest tightened, squeezed by the same rush of love he’d felt when he’d first seen her, red and wrinkled and squalling. “Let’s surprise Mama. We’ll stop by the grocery store and have supper ready when she gets home.”
    * * *
    “Blake!” Lyssa’s shriek pierced the air. “Give me the phone!”
    Annoyance curled through Del. Didn’t they ever let up? All the kids had done since they’d arrived home was bicker. Somehow, in the pressing silence of the tiny apartment in Atlanta, he’d forgotten that.
    Del capped the steak seasoning and replaced it in the spice rack. He grabbed a dishtowel and wiped his hands on the way to the living room. “Okay, guys,” he called, “cut it out.”
    Lyssa pounded on her brother’s door. “Daddy, he’s on restriction. He shouldn’t even have the phone.”
    “And you shouldn’t be yelling in the house.” Del tossed the towel across his shoulder and walked down the hall. He rapped on Blake’s door. “Blake, open up, would you?”
    The door jerked open, and Blake thrust the cordless phone at Lyssa. “Here. Happy?”
    She stuck her tongue out at him. “Now I am.”
    “Brat.”
    “Jerk.”
    “Baby.”
    “Rat face.”
    “Enough.” Del plucked the phone out of her hand. “Have you finished