Read His (Hers #5) for Free Online

didn’t do it, someone else would have. My feelings on it all remain indifferent though. I guess I just can’t fester in the emotions or lack thereof.
    I feel a sense of relief for Star because, had Chrome had to kill his own brother, that would have played on both of them heavily. Far heavier than it played on me because Star has just been through far more than I. Inwardly I’m glad I took the burden off of her and Paisley at the same time. It was typical of the behavior that landed me here though. Always trying to be the protector, no matter what the cost.
    “Let’s start when you brought Marley home from the hospital.” Brooke prompts, and I begin my task.
    “It was peaceful. I was peaceful for the first time in years. It was just the three of us; we were home and thanking whatever higher power hangs over us for Marley being healthy and finally home. It was touch and go for the longest time and it was all my fault.” I pause to take a breath, but Brooke interrupts me.
    “Why do you feel as though your premature labor was your fault, Seven?”
    “Brooke, there were so many times the doctor tried to put me on bed rest. I was too stubborn. I didn’t think it could happen to me. BAM! It did and it was my fault. There was no one else to blame for ignoring their concerns.” I wouldn’t imagine telling her that the baby I am carrying currently is my way of a do-over. I love Marley to death, but I failed her from the start. This is my chance to get it right. I’m not really sure if I even want another child, but I wanted the chance to finally do something right since failure weighs so heavy on me.
    What kind of mother would ignore their doctor’s orders? A shitty one. A mother like my own, who constantly put their own bullshit before their child. I wouldn’t tell Brooke or Levi that I constantly compared myself to my own mother, but it really was a fair comparison after my behavior.
    “The first month home with Marley was amazing. I didn’t have to worry about anything or anyone but her and Levi. Life was simple. But, you know what they say about the quiet before the storm.” I laugh, thinking about the surprise that was just around the corner. Brooke nods and I continue.
    “We hadn’t talked about any more kids. I honestly don’t think I want anymore. Hell, I didn’t want Marley in the beginning either. I was scared shitless I would fuck my kids up for life, just like my parents did. But seeing that plus sign on the test when Marley was finally home sent our whole world into a tailspin.” I sit and rub my bump.
    Something I would never admit to my therapist is the fact that I continued my pregnancy to prove a point to myself and the world. The point that I didn’t have to fail again. At least at the pregnancy portion of parenting. I could have a healthy and safe pregnancy, without hurting myself or my baby. Had I done everything right with Marley the first time around, I very well may have ended this pregnancy. And quite possibly my marriage.
    This baby was my second chance. The opportunity to rock the hell out of pregnancy and make it my bitch. The end result of another kid was still an idea that was still up in the air for me. That is just me being completely honest. I’m sure in the end, everything will work itself out, or at least that is what I continue to tell myself to rationalize my bad planning and lack of responsibility.
    “How do you feel about having another child when you were so put off by the idea of your daughter in the beginning?” I should have known she wouldn’t leave it alone. But, that’s her job. The more I talk about it, the more comfortable it all becomes.
    “I guess I am fine with it. I mean, I can’t change it now. In no time at all, we will have another baby and be a family of four instead of three.” Maybe if I keep telling myself that, I will be okay. The thought of a one year old and a new baby scares me to death, but if I can take a boardroom full of men and make