Read HETAERA: Daughter of the Gods for Free Online Page A

would be now, if not for here? Brutalized
by some Grecian dog? Fodder for the worms?” She turned away from me, and I
heard her stifle a sob. “Not a sun will set that I will not ache for my
husband’s arms to comfort me. I will never feel them again. But
you hold hope in your future, should you have the courage to grasp it. You know
the entrance to the temple, Doricha. There are no gates to hinder you should
you choose to go.”
    What can I say, but that I was a child then, and I
fled from her anger and her pain. I padded through the hallways, confused and
alone. I had not meant to argue with her, and yet I could not stop myself from
hasty words to test the bond between us.
    I staggered against the walls, unseen by any. My
head pounded from both her blow and the thoughts turning round in my brain. I’d
wanted to wound her. I wanted to scream at her, why did you not keep him
home with you that night ?
    And what’s worse, I found my anger had tainted
even my father’s memory. The temple was my duty, my birth right as the daughter
of a Bacchae. Dionysus was our lord and master, so handsome and so virile. Who
was my father to keep me from such a god’s embrace? I felt angry, ignorant and
ill-used. And then, a moment later, came the shame.
    “Forgive me,” I whispered into the darkness. I
don’t know which of them I meant.
    I covered my face with my hands and wept for my
dead father, my poor, beautiful mother, and myself, still lost between the both
of them.
    A priestess found me there, with my face buried
against the stone wall. She mistook my tears and led me back to my quarters. I
laid myself out on my pallet, wretched and expecting the gods to curse me for
my blasphemous thoughts.
    I must have dozed, because I awoke to the sounds
of someone entering my chamber. Soft hesitant footfalls padded across the
silent expanse of my small room. I bolted upright and peered into the darkness.
    “Who’s there?” I whispered. The familiar scent of
sorrow enfolded me.
    “Shh, Daughter.” My mother’s words floated out of
the darkness like welcome birdsong. Her voice was hoarse; I could tell she had
been weeping. “I should not have exposed you to our sacred rites without
preparing you first. It was a mistake. Allow me to stay with you this last
time. Tomorrow your training will begin.”
    She slipped onto the straw pallet, and I felt the
soft warmth of her body mold against my back and legs. Tears pricked my eyes
anew. We lay side by side for long moments, while she stroked my hair. She let
it run through her fingers like water, and the movement soothed my troubled
heart.
    “I am sorry,” I said.
    She sighed and rested her arm over my waist. “So
am I, Doricha. So am I.”
    “I do want to make you proud to call
me Daughter.” And I did, deep in my heart. I fancied I could hear her smiling
in the darkness.
    “And so you shall. You are special, Doricha. One
day, all the world will know your name,” she promised.
    We fell asleep smiling at our own absurdity.
    *** ***
    In the wee morning hours, I arose to an empty bed.
My mother entered the room with a neophyte’s robes. She held them out for me to
try.
    I slipped into the fresh robes and allowed her to
brush my hair out. She left it long and shining. If her eyes were a touch
wistful at the sight of my red-gold tresses, I pretended not to notice. There
had been enough harsh words between us regarding my father, and I would offer
up no more to wound her with.
    “Aidne will see you first. She will determine your
strengths and skills, if she establishes you have any.” Mother placed her hand
under my chin and tipped my head back. “You have very fine eyes, I think, and
your skin is fair. Well,” she said with a sigh. “We shall see.”
    I was too nervous to eat much the first meal, but
with crease worrying my mother’s forehead, I managed to gulp down some wine and
a bit of coarse bread. Then, a pretty blushing girl with a devotee’s robes came
to lead me