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“Now we have to see how we do when Sophie actually gets here and we have to worry about more than how to put together a bed. And that means we should go figure out the car seat. She can’t come home if we can’t get the car seat installed.”
     
    The car seat was easier than the bed, the latch system attaching to Srikkanth’s car with three quick snaps and two pulled straps. Srikkanth was tempted to go back to the hospital to see Sophie even though he knew it was too late to bring her home, but after some debate, he decided to stay home and finish unpacking and organizing everything. With Jaime’s help, he emptied a bookshelf, packing the contents away so he’d have a place to store Sophie’s empty bottles, her diaper bag, and all the rest of her paraphernalia. When everything was as prepared for her arrival as they could make it, Jaime went downstairs to watch TV, leaving Srikkanth to stare at the baby bed and bookshelf and wonder again at how his life had changed.
     
    He trailed his fingers over the edge of the playpen, trying to imagine the infant he had held that morning sleeping quietly in the bassinet, but his imagination failed him. He crossed to the shelf, picking up one of the rattles Jaime had bought. He shook it experimentally, trying to imagine Sophie’s little hand picking it up and shaking it, her laughter filling the room as she played. He didn’t know much about babies, but he did know not to expect that to happen right away. It wouldn’t be long, though, just a few months, before she’d be interacting more with the world, playing with toys, snuggling with her teddy bear. Srikkanth picked it up off the shelf, rubbing the soft velour against his face. Tears sprang to his eyes as he thought about Jill and Sophie and all the things he would get to experience with Sophie that Jill would never know. He started to set the bear back on the shelf, but he couldn’t quite let go of it. Telling himself he was being a sentimental fool, he carried the stuffed toy to his bed, holding it tightly as he sat down and tried once again to process everything that had happened in the past three days. He wouldn’t be able to settle his grief entirely, but he also suspected that tonight would be his last moment of peace and quiet for some time to come. He’d watched the nurses at the hospital that morning. They never sat down because one of the babies always needed something: a bottle, a clean diaper, a fresh blanket. Granted, they were taking care of more than one child at a time, but they actually knew what they were doing. Srikkanth didn’t have the slightest idea.
     
    Settling on the bed, he stared at the ceiling, the bear clutched in his arms. He wanted to rail against the heavens for depriving him of his best friend and taking Sophie’s mother from her before Jill even had a chance to hold the baby she had dreamed about for so long. Silently, he promised himself a day would never go by without him telling Sophie how much her mother loved her and wanted her. He would hold her and rock her and love her and give her enough affection for two parents, even if he was only one man. His daughter would grow up so loved that she wouldn’t feel the lack of a mother.
     

     

     
    The next morning, Srikkanth was at the hospital as soon as visiting hours began. The same nurse from the day before was there. She smiled and pointed to the rocking chair and brought Sophie to him. “She had a bit of a restless night,” the nurse explained. “I think she missed you.”
     
    Srikkanth shook his head in automatic denial. “She doesn’t even know me. How could she possibly miss me?”
     
    “You spent hours holding her yesterday,” the nurse reminded him. “She’s only three days old. She knows you better than anyone else in the world right now.”
     
    Srikkanth couldn’t decide if that was more reassuring or frightening, but he could see the logic in the comment. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted to