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her vision. She pulled up outside the ranch house and gathered up her things. Her hand shook when they hovered over the boxes of gifts she’d bought, but she stuffed them forcefully inside her purse. There was a giant gift-wrapped box containing a doll’s house for Tabby, hidden in the trunk. Nat could fetch it later and hide it in the closet, along with all the other presents they’d amassed for the youngest member of the Sullivan family.
    She stumbled up the steps, opened the door, walked through the mudroom, ignoring the dogs, the greetings, the looks of concern when she tossed her bag on the kitchen table and just kept going.
    “Sarah?” Nat called. “Sas?” He started following her, coming faster and faster. She wanted to get away, to run, but even though she made it to her room, Nat kept on coming. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
    His obvious concern tipped her over the edge. She started crying, and he pulled her to his chest and rocked her. He was hot and damp and smelled like horses. More than that, he smelled like safety and security, like her big brother.
    “What is it? What happened? Something at work?”
    She shook her head. “I’m in love with Cal.”
    He huffed out a quiet laugh. “Honey, that’s hardly news.”
    She nodded. She might not have said the words, but the truth had always been on her face. “Yeah, well, about a month ago I seduced him.”
    She heard him grinding his teeth. “Not what I want to think about, but okay. You’re an adult, and if you waited for Cal to make a move we’d all be dead.”
    She started crying harder then, sobbing into his shirt. “He doesn’t want me, Nat. I saw him in town and practically begged him to marry me. He told me he didn’t want me. Didn’t love me.”
    His arms were banded so tight around her they hurt. “I’m gonna kill him.”
    She pushed away from him. “He’s your best friend, you idiot. You can’t kill him just because he doesn’t love me back.”
    Nat’s blue eyes widened, then he shook his head. “Not love you back? The guy watches every move you make. He opens your door. Takes your plate at dinner. Polishes your saddle even though you only ride once a month. I’m gonna kill him for being an asshole and making you cry.”
    Sarah couldn’t think straight. She was wiped out, emotionally and physically, and she had another long shift tomorrow. “He loves me like a sister—”
    “As your actual brother I can tell you that’s not how he feels.”
    “Well, he doesn’t love me the way you love Eliza. Or the way Ryan loved Becky. You guys were never ashamed of the person you were with.”
    Nat sighed. “Cal has some misplaced notion he’s not good enough for you—”
    “Well grinding me into the dirt is a hell of a way of showing it!”
    Nat held up a hand as if to ward off the temper brewing inside her. “I can see this isn’t the time to talk about it. Run yourself a hot bath, and I’ll bring you up a supper tray.” He ran his hand over her bangs, the same thing he did to his horses when their manes got in their eyes. “We’ll figure this out. Cal’s not going anywhere. You’re not going anywhere. He just needs a bit of time to adjust to the fact he’s allowed to be happy.”
    She grabbed his hand. “You don’t disapprove?”
    Nat gave her an odd look. “He’s my best friend. Nobody else would be good enough for you.”
    Sarah nodded, and he left. Inside she still felt hollow and broken. After everything that had happened this year she’d hoped for a good Christmas, a time of joy and new beginnings. But regardless of what Nat thought, maybe she and Cal weren’t meant to live happily ever after. Maybe Cal Landon wasn’t the man she thought he was.
    *     *     *
    Cal sat in a holding cell trying to ignore the insidious sense of revulsion that crept through every capillary and vein. The memories assaulted him like poison and made him feel sick to his stomach.
    He’d been lucky, considering what might