Read Her Last Call To Louis MacNeice for Free Online Page B

‘smote’ from a three-storey building in Battersea, not a howl down from the dogs’ home. One might say he was indeed begot, or is it begat. Whatever, well creamed any road. The doorbell went. I didn’t recognise him at first, then he spoke.
    ‘Dave, how are you lad, have you forgotten me?’
    Then it clicked. Noble, the noble savage.
    ‘Chief Inspector.’
    ‘One and the same, I must put my hand up, cop a plea. That’s police manual humour to put Joe Public at ease.’
    ‘It works, or is it to put him off his guard?’
    ‘Might I step in?’
    ‘Have you a warrant?’
    Took him aback. I added, ‘Just kiddin’, come on then.’
    He had a cheap raincoat and even cheaper aftershave. No, the cheapest. It comes free with the litre bottles of bleach.
    ‘Have a seat.’
    As he did he took a full look round.
    ‘The decorators did you proud, very nice job, local lads are they?’
    ‘By means of Dublin.’
    ‘Expensive?’
    ‘Depends on your perspective Inspector. Tea, coffee, vodka. No, hold the phones, I’ve a nice bit o’ Britvic.’
    He smiled, said, ‘Perhaps the tea.’
    I got that done, put cups, milk, sugar on a tray and some strawberry jam delights. Put the spread before him, he said, ‘Now, isn’t this cosy.’
    And took a biscuit, bit cautiously, said, ‘Mm … m … that is good, Marks and Spencers?’
    ‘Sainsbury’s.’
    ‘First class. I might go another.’
    And he did. Then said, ‘Bit o’ news you’ll find fascinating.’
    ‘Oh yeah, and what would that be?’
    ‘The Met are to be issued with longer acrylic batons. The Home Secretary wanted to know if the longer length made a difference in physical impact injuries and has finally approved them.’
    ‘That is fascinating. Acrylic eh, and machine washable.’
    ‘I doubt you’d pop them in yer local laundrette. Meanwhile, the villains load up on Uzis and M-11’s.’
    ‘I do appreciate your hoppin’ round to tell me, Inspector but you could have phoned.’
    ‘And miss these treats, I do believe I’ll have another. That your Astra outside?’
    ‘It’s a repo, I’ll drop it off later.’
    ‘Don’t doubt it for a minute. Who’s going to play silly buggers eh? The reason I wished to see you is, I wondered if you’d any new ideas on those robberies.’
    ‘Not a one.’
    ‘Mm … m … you’re not having tea.’
    ‘Bit early for me.’
    ‘We know it’s the same two men. They nick a car and hit at random, almost like they stuck a pin in a map. What do you think?’
    ‘No idea.’
    ‘Well, that’s my job eh, but I’ll pop round from time to time let you know how the investigation’s going.’
    He stood up, noisily drained his cup, headed for the door. I said, ‘It isn’t really necessary you know.’
    ‘Of course I know it isn’t fuckin’ necessary Cooper. When it gets to that, I’ll send Quinn.’

    Doc was close to shouting.
    ‘What did you do to antagonise the prick.’
    ‘Do me a bloody favour Doc, I gave him tea for crying out loud.’
    ‘And he definitely said WHEN not IF.’
    ‘You think I misheard him, that it?’
    ‘Fuck fuck fuck.’
    ‘That’s a big help.’
    I was round at Doc’s place. He lived off the Clapham Road in an old draughty house that never got warm. Laura, his common-law wife, was doing household shit and noisily. A small intense brunette, she’d a vicious temper. I don’t think she liked me but it wasn’t personal. She didn’t like anybody, even Doc seemed to bug her and they’d been together eighteen years. He shouted, ‘Laura, for fuck’s sake, will you stop bangin’ things.’
    ‘When you stop bangin’ young wans.’
    He gave a huge smile, said, ‘The mouth on that woman, strip paint off a gate. Hey Laura, wet a sup o’ tea.’
    ‘Wet it yerself.’
    They had a sixteen-year-old daughter, currently at a posh boarding school. Doc said, ‘Everyone in this house-hold does time.’
    Laura sighed, ‘But I’m the only one doing life.’

    Round at Lisa’s, I’d called