again tomorrow?”
“Uh…Auntie Poppy?” Logan seemed to stumble on his answer. “I…don’t really know if she’s going to be here tomorrow, Keith. You know, she lives far away and may have to go home.”
All the joy of the being at dinner with Logan and Keith faded in that one statement. He was already ready for her to leave.
“She’s funny,” Keith said in a small giggle that hinted of the smile she imagined he’d have on his face. They’d had fun today and she was glad she wasn’t the only one who felt that way.
“Yes, I suppose she is,” Logan said quietly.
“She laughs a lot,” Keith continued. “It makes me laugh.”
“Don't I make you laugh?” Logan asked.
“You never play pirates.”
The silence that dragged on was probably only just a few seconds, but it still hit Poppy right in the chest. She knew Logan well, despite distance and time between them. Those four little words probably hurt Logan more than he’d ever admit. She recalled how hard it was for her dad to stop working and play with them when she was a kid. Ranching was hard work and long hours.
She was genuinely surprised when Kelly told her that they’d purchased the spread. Logan had had other dreams of wanting to travel like his brother Wade had done in the Peace Corp before he’d gone missing in a tsunami in Asia a few years ago. Perhaps losing Wade had been the catalyst for Logan deciding to settle permanently in Rudolph. There was no day off here on the ranch. Kelly had told her that plenty of times when she’d come out to visit Poppy in New York, alone, that Logan worked from sun up to sun down.
Stepping into the room, she greeted father and son with a smile, hoping her presence wasn’t as intrusive as it felt to her.
“Well, maybe we should ask Daddy to play pirates with us tomorrow. What do you think?” she said, standing on the other side of the bed from where Logan was sitting.
Logan offered up a weak smile, confirming exactly what she’d suspected. He probably had little extra time to play when there was so much to do.
“That’d be fun,” he said, eyeing her with skepticism.
Keith’s blue eyes grew large and expressive, showing enthusiasm at the prospect.
“Daddy you can be the captain and I’ll capture your ship. Arg!”
Logan mimicked Keith and then said, “Why don’t you get some sleep and we’ll talk about it at breakfast tomorrow.”
“Okay.” He reached his arms up to his father for a hug and said, “Love you, Daddy.”
“Love you, too, little man.”
Then Keith turned to Poppy and to her surprise, he lifted his arms to her. With tired eyes and a sweet smile, he said, “Love you, Auntie Poppy.”
She eased down on the bed next to Keith and wrapped him in her arms. “I love you, too, sweetie.” Keith put his head down on the pillow and Poppy reached up and pushed his silky hair away from his face. She felt more than saw Logan staring at her and decided to leave the two alone for the final nightly ritual.
As she made her way to the door, Logan said, “Goodnight.”
She turned back. “I’ll just be a few more minutes in the bathroom and then it’s yours.”
Logan nodded.
Poppy had to catch her breath as she walked those few steps toward the bathroom. She’d thought Logan was in her past. Kelly had insisted otherwise. Now Poppy wasn’t sure if she’d ever stopped loving him.
The realization hit Poppy hard in the chest as moisture filled her tired eyes. She couldn’t wait any longer to tell Logan the truth. But she’d have to find the right time, a time when Keith was at Kate’s or on a play-date with Alex. The longer she waited to tell him, the harder it was going to be to leave if it all went bad.
* * *
Logan turned off the light next to Keith’s bed and sat in the dark watching his son until he fell into a deep sleep. He knew it wouldn’t take long. It had been a long day. Playing hard in the fresh air was all the drug a little boy needed to fall into deep
Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg