waist and lifted me to my feet. I struggled against the hold.
He pressed against my back and nuzzled my neck. “Shh. Calm down. This’ll be fun.”
“Fun?” I rasped and shot him a scowl over my shoulder.
Bickering filtered through the open from door. “What? Special friend? What does that even mean, Walter?”
“It means they were fooling around on the couch.”
“So? That doesn’t mean he’s special.”
“Now, Karen.”
My stomach knotted with each click of her heels signaling her approach. When she came into view, she wore the same suspicious expression I’d come to recognize on her son’s face. In fact, I could see most of Brandon’s features and coloring were inherited from his mom. His dad’s genetic influence seemed limited to height and build. They made an attractive family.
“Adam, these are my parents, Karen and Walter.”
“Hello.” I gulped and shoved my hands behind by back. I’m twenty-eight. And up until that moment, I’d never had the awkward meet-the-parents experience. So I had no frame of reference for appropriate responses. But there was no way in hell I was shaking their hands. I wished longingly for the little bottle of “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals” hand sanitizer my sister had gifted me as a prank.
“It’s nice to meet you, Adam.” Brandon’s dad wore an interested if slightly concerned expression as he stepped in my direction. I jerked back, pushing against Brandon’s chest. He gave my hip what he probably considered a reassuring squeeze. It failed.
How the hell was I supposed to decline a handshake?
With a nervous laugh, I turned and asked Brandon, “Where’s your bathroom?”
His brow furrowed as he searched my expression. My long-suffering sigh probably came across as rude, but this situation had catapulted me well beyond my repertoire of politeness. “I need to wash my hands.” I hoped my tone conveyed the implied duh .
The damn man smirked and gestured to a hallway I hadn’t noticed. “First door on your left.”
Did nothing faze him?
Whatever. I decided to wash my hands, compose myself, and see about climbing out the window. Or was that too dramatic?
Then I heard his mother ask, “Is he an escort?”
“Mom!”
Hahaha! Well, there you have it. I will forever cherish Brandon’s appalled admonishment. Now, if you expect me to be offended here, you’re destined for disappointment. Karen’s question lacked any judgment that I could detect. Besides, I saw nothing wrong with two consenting adults helping each other out.
I took my time in the bathroom. The first order of business was righting all the wrongs happening in my jeans. It wasn’t like I’d had time to properly tuck and redress, so the waist of my underwear was still crammed under my balls. And my ass was being assaulted by my underwear, compliments of Brandon’s explorations.
When I could delay no longer, I cracked the door open and listened. Yes, I eavesdropped. I think we’ve already established my periodic bouts of rudeness. It’s a newer development, but I’m embracing it.
The first thing I heard was Brandon’s mom. She was using what I call the “let’s be reasonable” voice. “He’s very handsome, and I’m sure he’s a nice boy.” Oh brother, here it comes.
“Stop. I love you guys. You’re jumping to the wrong conclusions, and since I did the same thing at first, I can’t blame you. Having said that, I’m not going to stand here and discuss all the ways you’re wrong and take a chance of hurting a really sweet guy. So when he returns, I’m asking you to be polite and say good night.”
Oh. I’m not gonna lie, I stood in that hallway on the verge of tears with a trembling hand covering my mouth.
I heard a sniffle, then his mother spoke. “So, he’s special.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yes, I think so.”
“Well, it seems your father was right.”
“Did you hear that, Brandon? The apocalypse is upon us.”
Six
I rolled out of