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easy to blame it on his job. He’d worked long hours during the Desai case, and it was true he’d neglected Ali from time to time throughout, but that wasn’t anything he hadn’t done in the past when he’d had a big case. She’d always been understanding in the past. She’d seemed to be understanding this time. Yet after the Desai case ended and his overtime hours disappeared, life hadn’t returned to normal. Somehow, somewhere, they’d gone from being united to being apart.
    They had little in common anymore. They hardly spoke and rarely touched—even casually, much less sexually. Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised that she intended, apparently, to physically move to the mountains. She’d been there mentally for months. It was as if sometime last fall Ali had taken up residence on the summit of a high peak surrounded by unscalable cliffs and deep snow that defeated him anytime he tried to reach her. He would lie beside her in bed, aching with want for her, sensing she wanted him, too, but knowing that the Ali he loved was beyond his grasp.
    He didn’t like making love to a shell. It left him feeling as empty as she.
    And angry. So freaking angry. How dare she freeze me out. How dare she walk out!
    He’d been a good husband to her. He’d been faithful. He’d been a good father to their children. He’d loved his family. He’d loved her. He didn’t deserve this.
    She didn’t deserve what you did to her, either .
    Mac clenched his jaw against the old guilt thatnever completely went away, despite his efforts to redeem himself. That sin was more than twenty years old. He’d done his level best to make it up to her.
    Have you, really? After all, you’ve never confessed to it .
    Staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, he said with a sneer, “Well, I can’t do much about that now, can I? She’s left me.”
    So, now what? What are you going to do about it?
    “I’m going to get dressed and go to work. I have a meeting at ten.”
    He strode into his bedroom and grabbed underwear from the bureau. He’d go to work and do the job he’d worked so hard to get, and maybe she’d be back by the time he came home.
    Just fucking watch me .
    He sighed heavily. Or maybe not.
    Standing at his closet door a few moments later, he stared at the row of suits and found himself frozen with indecision. Blue? Gray? Solid? Pinstripe? What color shirt? Which tie?
    Whoa. This wasn’t like him at all. Overwhelmed. Incapable of making a simple decision. Not a good situation for a man in his line of work.
    He pivoted and crossed to a telephone, called his office, and claimed a sick day—his first in more years than he could remember. He no sooner replaced the receiver in the cradle than the phone rang. Checking caller ID, he winced. Caitlin. Should he answer it or not?
    Mac found this choice no more easily made than the last. Had Ali already phoned the kids? Was Caitlin calling to rag on him? Or was this simply oneof her usual, multiple daily calls to her mother? He allowed the answering machine to pick it up, then sat on the edge of the bed to listen.
    “Hey, Mom. You there?” his daughter’s voice asked. “I remember you’re going shopping with Mrs. Blessing sometime today, but it’s early yet. Hello?” After a pause, she continued, “Okay, maybe you’re in the shower. Well, I’ll just talk to the machine until my bus comes—I’m on my way downtown to pick up a new tire for my bike. Some Einstein got the idea to hang all the bikes in front of the dorm in the trees overnight and when the campus cops took it down, the tire was history. Speaking of which … I got my paper back in history and made an 86, which blows because I needed an 88 to bring my grade up to an A. In more interesting developments, I met the cutest guy at the library last night. His name is Patrick and he’s a psych major. He wants to go to law school. I think … Okay, here’s my bus. I’ll call your cell later, Mom. Love you. Tell