wanted, I believe. Then a sudden temptation came over me. I kicked off my slippers and was in the water before I had made up my mind fairly. Somebody heard the splash and they raised an awful hullabaloo. âHeâs gone! Lower the boats! Heâs committed suicide! No, heâs swimming.â Certainly I was swimming. Itâs not so easy for a swimmer like me to commit suicide by drowning. I landed on the nearest islet before the boat left the shipâs side. I heard them pulling about in the dark, hailing, and so on, but after a bit they gave up. Everything quieted down and the anchorage became as still as death. I sat down on a stone and began to think. I felt certain they would start searching for me at daylight. There was no place to hide on those stony thingsâand if there had been, what would have been the good? But now I was clear of that ship, I was not going back. So after a while I took off all my clothes, tied them up in a bundle with a stone inside, and dropped them in the deep water on the outer side of that islet. That was suicide enough for me. Let them think what they liked, but I didnât mean to drown myself. I meant to swim till I sankâ but thatâs not the same thing. I struck out for another of these little islands, and it was from that one that I first saw your riding light. Something to swim for. I went on easily, and on the way I came upon a flat rock or two above water. In the daytime, I dare say, you might make it out with a glass from your poop. I scrambled up on it and rested myself for a bit. Then I made another start. That last spell must have been over a mile.ââ
His whisper was getting fainter and fainter, and all the time he stared straight out through the porthole, in which there was not even a star to be seen. I had not interrupted him. There was something that made comment impossible in his narrative, or perhaps in himself; a sort of feeling, a quality, which I canât find a name for. And when he ceased, all I found was a futile whisper: ââSo you swam for our light?ââ
ââYesâstraight for it. It was something to swim for. I couldnât see any stars low down because the coast was in the way, and I couldnât see the land, either. The water was like glass. One might have been swimming in a confounded thousand-feet deep cistern with no place for scrambling out anywhere; but what I didnât like was the notion of swimming round and round like a crazed bullock before I gave out; and as I didnât mean to go back . . . No. Do you see me being hauled back, stark naked, off one of these little islands by the scruff of the neck and fighting like a wild beast? Somebody would have got killed for certain, and I did not want any of that. So I went on. Then your ladderââââ
ââWhy didnât you hail the ship?ââ I asked, a little louder.
He touched my shoulder lightly. Lazy footsteps came right over our heads and stopped. The second mate had crossed from the other side of the poop and might have been hanging over the rail for all we knew.
ââHe couldnât hear us talkingâcould he?ââ My double breathed into my very ear, anxiously.
His anxiety was an answer, a sufficient answer, to the question I had put to him. An answer containing all the difficulty of that situation. I closed the porthole quietly, to make sure. A louder word might have been overheard.
ââWhoâs that?ââ he whispered then.
ââMy second mate. But I donât know much more of the fellow than you do.ââ
And I told him a little about myself. I had been appointed to take charge while I least expected anything of the sort, not quite a fortnight ago. I didnât know either the ship or the people. Hadnât had the time in port to look about me or size anybody up. And as to the crew, all they knew was that I was appointed to take the ship