like she does sometimes. I kissed her and I couldn't help myself. I grabbed her with wet hands and pushed her back onto the table. She took off her top and…
'I want my breakfast, Daddy,' Ellis pipes up from somewhere in the darkness at the side of the bed. Christ, she scared me half to death. I had no idea she was there. My suddenly semi-formed erection quickly droops back down to nothing.
'It's too early,' I mumble. 'Go back to bed.'
'I'm hungry, Daddy,' she says, undeterred.
'In a bit.'
'I'm hungry now. I can't wait.'
'Later.'
'Now,' she demands with more force and insistence in her voice than I would ever have expected from a four-and-a-half year old. She's not going anywhere. I'll have to try a different tack.
'Why don't you get into bed with Mummy and me for a while, sweetheart,' I suggest hopefully, quickly giving up all thoughts of sex. 'We'll get up and get your breakfast in a few minutes.' An hour or so with Ellis in the bed seems a much better option than getting up now. I expect a little resistance but, to my surprise, she agrees. She drags herself up onto the bed, steps over my head and then wriggles between Lizzie and I. Christ her feet are cold. Lizzie angrily mumbles something unintelligible when they touch her.
Thirty seconds of silence and she starts on me again.
'I want toast please, Daddy,' she says. I have to give her her due, she might be irritating but at least she's polite.
'In a minute,' I yawn, rolling over onto my side again, grabbing back some duvet and twisting and contorting my body to avoid contact with her icy feet. 'Let's just stay in bed for a little longer, shall we…?'
She agrees but she talks. And she talks. And she keeps talking. I screw my eyes shut and pull the duvet over my head.
I managed to last another twenty minutes with Ellis in bed before admitting defeat and getting up. I'm in the kitchen now waiting for the kettle to boil. We're both dressed and Ellis has had her breakfast but she's still talking non-stop about nothing in particular. Lizzie's still in bed. She could sleep through anything. Wish I could.
It's freezing cold in here. This flat is impossible to heat. I think it's so cold because the rest of the building is virtually empty. We're on the left hand side of the ground floor and all the warmth that our old-fashioned heating system generates just rises up and disappears into the empty flats above us. I've even thought about trying to get us moved upstairs to see if that makes any difference.
I grab my drink and a bowl of cereal and sit down in front of the TV. There's nothing on worth watching; crappy cartoons, cookery and lifestyle programmes and loud, intelligence-insulting kids shows are all I can find. I settle on the news but even the headlines are boring this morning (an outbreak of violence in the capital, a sex scandal involving a politician and his nephew, more warnings about climate change and a celebrity death). I'll wait for the sports headlines. They're usually on just before the hour.
Christ, all the kids are out of bed now. Why do they have to get up so early? We have to drag them out of their beds when it's a school day. They've only been up for a couple of minutes and I can already hear Ed and Josh fighting over something. I close my eyes and wait for them to start on me. It's only a matter of time…
'I want to watch Channel 22,' Ed says as he storms into the room. Does his entire life revolve around TV?
'I'm watching this,' I answer quickly, annoyed that I've been disturbed.
'With your eyes shut?' he sneers in an irritating tone which makes me want to slap him.
'Yes, with my eyes shut,' I sneer back. 'I'm waiting to watch something.'
'I really need to watch Channel 22, Dad,' he whines.
'Watch it in your room,' I suggest sensibly. We bought Ed a TV last Christmas. He hardly uses the damn thing.
'I can't get Channel 22 in there.'
'Sorry, son, I'm watching this. You can turn over when it's finished.'
'That's not fair,' he yells
'I want my breakfast, Daddy,' Ellis pipes up from somewhere in the darkness at the side of the bed. Christ, she scared me half to death. I had no idea she was there. My suddenly semi-formed erection quickly droops back down to nothing.
'It's too early,' I mumble. 'Go back to bed.'
'I'm hungry, Daddy,' she says, undeterred.
'In a bit.'
'I'm hungry now. I can't wait.'
'Later.'
'Now,' she demands with more force and insistence in her voice than I would ever have expected from a four-and-a-half year old. She's not going anywhere. I'll have to try a different tack.
'Why don't you get into bed with Mummy and me for a while, sweetheart,' I suggest hopefully, quickly giving up all thoughts of sex. 'We'll get up and get your breakfast in a few minutes.' An hour or so with Ellis in the bed seems a much better option than getting up now. I expect a little resistance but, to my surprise, she agrees. She drags herself up onto the bed, steps over my head and then wriggles between Lizzie and I. Christ her feet are cold. Lizzie angrily mumbles something unintelligible when they touch her.
Thirty seconds of silence and she starts on me again.
'I want toast please, Daddy,' she says. I have to give her her due, she might be irritating but at least she's polite.
'In a minute,' I yawn, rolling over onto my side again, grabbing back some duvet and twisting and contorting my body to avoid contact with her icy feet. 'Let's just stay in bed for a little longer, shall we…?'
She agrees but she talks. And she talks. And she keeps talking. I screw my eyes shut and pull the duvet over my head.
I managed to last another twenty minutes with Ellis in bed before admitting defeat and getting up. I'm in the kitchen now waiting for the kettle to boil. We're both dressed and Ellis has had her breakfast but she's still talking non-stop about nothing in particular. Lizzie's still in bed. She could sleep through anything. Wish I could.
It's freezing cold in here. This flat is impossible to heat. I think it's so cold because the rest of the building is virtually empty. We're on the left hand side of the ground floor and all the warmth that our old-fashioned heating system generates just rises up and disappears into the empty flats above us. I've even thought about trying to get us moved upstairs to see if that makes any difference.
I grab my drink and a bowl of cereal and sit down in front of the TV. There's nothing on worth watching; crappy cartoons, cookery and lifestyle programmes and loud, intelligence-insulting kids shows are all I can find. I settle on the news but even the headlines are boring this morning (an outbreak of violence in the capital, a sex scandal involving a politician and his nephew, more warnings about climate change and a celebrity death). I'll wait for the sports headlines. They're usually on just before the hour.
Christ, all the kids are out of bed now. Why do they have to get up so early? We have to drag them out of their beds when it's a school day. They've only been up for a couple of minutes and I can already hear Ed and Josh fighting over something. I close my eyes and wait for them to start on me. It's only a matter of time…
'I want to watch Channel 22,' Ed says as he storms into the room. Does his entire life revolve around TV?
'I'm watching this,' I answer quickly, annoyed that I've been disturbed.
'With your eyes shut?' he sneers in an irritating tone which makes me want to slap him.
'Yes, with my eyes shut,' I sneer back. 'I'm waiting to watch something.'
'I really need to watch Channel 22, Dad,' he whines.
'Watch it in your room,' I suggest sensibly. We bought Ed a TV last Christmas. He hardly uses the damn thing.
'I can't get Channel 22 in there.'
'Sorry, son, I'm watching this. You can turn over when it's finished.'
'That's not fair,' he yells
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