Read Hater 1: Hater for Free Online Page B

reach out and fumble around in the darkness to switch it off. I have to think for a minute to try and remember what day it is. Do I have to get up? I'm sure it's Saturday and I just forgot to cancel the alarm. I lie still for a second and try and work back through yesterday and last night. I can remember another dull day at the office with Tina Murray taking me into one of the interview rooms and ripping into me because of my attitude. I remember the gig and the fight and running away from the venue. Christ, what exactly did happen there last night? Doesn't matter now. All that's important is that it's Saturday and I don't have to get up and go to work.
        I roll over onto my side and put my arm around Lizzie. She seemed happier yesterday than she has been for a while. It did us both good to get out and spend some time together. Shame it had to end the way it did. When we got back to the flat I had to drive Harry home. After that we opened a couple of cans of beer and sat in front of the TV watching a dumb action film, numbing our brains.
        I shuffle a little closer to Liz and then wait for her to react. When she doesn't respond I move a little closer again and press myself up tight against her. We never seem to have chance to be intimate these days. Long gone are the times when we could be free and jump into bed at the drop of a hat. These days there's always something do or someone to look after first. Having kids has changed everything. I wish I'd been allowed to borrow someone else's for a while before we had our own. I never appreciated just how much having children can screw up your previously simple and uncomplicated life.
        I can feel Lizzie's skin through the cloth of her pyjamas. She feels beautifully soft and warm. If it wasn't so early I might take a chance and try and slip my hand inside her top. Sometimes, if I'm careful and gentle enough, a move like that might start something. At this time of the day, though, she's more likely to kick me than caress me. But I can remember a time a couple of weeks back when we were both in the kitchen. She'd brushed up against me while I was standing at the sink doing the washing up. I stopped and turned around and she just looked at me like she does sometimes. I kissed her and I couldn't help myself. I grabbed her with wet hands and pushed her back onto the table. She took off her top and…
        'I want my breakfast, Daddy,' Ellis pipes up from somewhere in the darkness at the side of the bed. Christ, she scared me half to death. I had no idea she was there. My suddenly semi-formed erection quickly droops back down to nothing.
        'It's too early,' I mumble. 'Go back to bed.'
        'I'm hungry, Daddy,' she says, undeterred.
        'In a bit.'
        'I'm hungry now. I can't wait.'
        'Later.'
        'Now,' she demands with more force and insistence in her voice than I would ever have expected from a four-and-a-half year old. She's not going anywhere. I'll have to try a different tack.
        'Why don't you get into bed with Mummy and me for a while, sweetheart,' I suggest hopefully, quickly giving up all thoughts of sex. 'We'll get up and get your breakfast in a few minutes.' An hour or so with Ellis in the bed seems a much better option than getting up now. I expect a little resistance but, to my surprise, she agrees. She drags herself up onto the bed, steps over my head and then wriggles between Lizzie and I. Christ her feet are cold. Lizzie angrily mumbles something unintelligible when they touch her.
        Thirty seconds of silence and she starts on me again.
        'I want toast please, Daddy,' she says. I have to give her her due, she might be irritating but at least she's polite.
        'In a minute,' I yawn, rolling over onto my side again, grabbing back some duvet and twisting and contorting my body to avoid contact with her icy feet. 'Let's just stay in bed for a little longer, shall we…?'
        She agrees but