stuck to curtains.
‘Stop looking over your shoulder at what Keith has. Or what you might have had. Or what you once had. Think about the here and now. You’d be better for it. We all would,’ said Lisa’s mum. She sounded really cross.
Lisa’s mum never got snappy with Lisa. So Lisa felt about an inch tall. She got off the phone as quickly as possible.
Lisa sat still for quite a few minutes and thought about her mum’s words. She might have a point. In an effort not to think about Keith’s holiday to the Canary Islands, Lisa popped out to the local vegetable shop. Shebought a pumpkin to carve with the kids. It would be fun.
Two Elastoplasts and some very bad language later, Lisa had carved a lopsided cat’s face. It looked funny, not scary. She told her kids it was the effect she wanted.
‘To avoid scaring little kids,’ she said.
‘Really?’ asked Kerry. ‘Very thoughtful.’
All three kids agreed to go trick or treating. After all, free sweets are free sweets. Even when you’re fifteen. They were less happy with the costumes Lisa had made that afternoon. Wool-worths had been emptied by the mums who buy Hallowe’en costumes in August. Lisa’s kids had to make do with old sheets and black tights.
While Lisa was out trick-or-treating with the kids, Mark called her on her mobile.
‘Have you done the pregnancy test yet?’ he asked.
‘There’s no need,’ said Lisa.
‘Why, have you er… ‘ said Mark.
‘No, not yet. But I’m late because I’m menopausal. I wish everyone would stop going on about it. Why can’t I sink into my old age without all this fuss?’ Lisa asked crossly. Luckily the kids were fighting over mini Mars bars. They were not paying Lisa much attention.
‘Lisa, you’re too young to be menopausal. Besides, you look great at the moment. Really glowing. You’re being sick and you’re late. Those are signs of pregnancy, not the menopause. Why won’t you admit it? Would it be so awful?’ asked Mark.
At that moment Jack rushed across the road to catch up with his friends. He didn’t look for cars.
‘Jack, for goodness sake. How many times do I have to tell you? Be careful on roads.’
‘Is that your answer?’ asked Mark.
‘No.’ Lisa said.
‘Well, what then?’ he asked.
‘This is nothing to do with you,’ said Lisa.
‘Lisa, if you are pregnant, this has everything to do with me. Or at least I hope it does. Why are you always pushing me away?’
Was she? Lisa couldn’t answer his question. After what felt like about five years of silence, he said, ‘Well? Is the idea of being pregnant with my child so terrible? Is that why you are in denial?’ He sounded cross, but that couldn’t be right. Mark was never cross.
Of course the idea of being pregnant with Mark’s child wasn’t terrible. The idea was wonderful. But it was a fantasy. It couldn’t be true. Lisa thought it was a daft question. Shedidn’t dare tell Mark she’d love to be having his baby. She didn’t dare tell him that the idea of starting again was too much to hope for. She no longer dared to want anything that much. So she said nothing. They were both silent for ages.
Then Mark coughed and said, ‘I see. Well, call me if you need anything.’
Then he hung up.
Suddenly the ghosts and goblins looked really scary to Lisa.
10
4 November
Kerry came home from school earlier than usual. Lisa was pleased to see her daughter. She could do with a distraction. She had so much that she didn’t want to think about right now. Mostly she didn’t want to think about Mark.
Hadn’t she been proved right after all? He had let her down. He’d vanished: one row and then goodbye. She’d heard nothing from him today. She’d expected him to call the following morning, or at least by lunchtime. It had been four days. Why hadn’t he called? It was a good thing she’d never fallen for him. Or at least that he didn’t know she had. She would have a cup of tea with Kerry and forget all about Mark.