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anything. Just a drip stand and a catheter tube going into my belly.”
    “You’ve got a tube in your belly? Wow, that’s cool! Can I have a look?”
    “No!” I squeaked in alarm.
    Ollie pouted momentarily, then looked contrite. “Sorry. Guess I should mind my own business.” He started to back away, and I kicked myself for being a twat.
    “No, wait. It’s not that. I’m just a bit… Well, it’s pretty ugly.”
    “Yeah? Bet I’ve seen worse. Used to go out with someone who had their navel pierced. Was always getting infected and shit. Looked bloody awful, but I didn’t mind getting up close.” He stuck his chin out defiantly.
    I just stared again, trying to work out if the pronoun avoidance meant he’d just outed himself to me. He’d need to be a bit more obvious for me to be sure.
    Wearing a rainbow badge with “I’m gay” emblazoned on it would be a help.
    “Ollie, a little help, please!”
    Ollie jumped at the strident voice coming from the woman behind the counter. “God, I’d better get back. Anything else you wanted?”
    I ordered Zoe’s pretend coffee and earned a raised eyebrow, but Ollie refrained from commenting.
    “Ooh, have I still got time to order something to eat?” Zoe said as she slid back into her chair. “What would you recommend?”
    “The sticky toffee cake is to die for. I mean, seriously scrummy.”
    “Sounds great.”
    I resolutely refused to watch Ollie as he walked away, aware of Zoe scrutinising me.
    “That’s your delivery boy, isn’t it? The one you fancy.”
    I blushed, which seemed to be answer enough for her.
    “Cute but way too young for you,” was her eventual verdict.
    “And probably straight too.”
    Zoe snorted. “Yeah right. Because straight guys are always describing cake as ‘scrummy’. He’s well into you, it’s bloody obvious. Your gaydar’s completely screwed, you know that?”
    “I don’t think anyone ever bothered to issue me with one.” I wasn’t about to argue with her. Not about the gaydar, anyway.
    Ollie was polite but a little more distant when he brought the drinks.
    Whether that was down to Zoe’s presence or that of the large woman with the stern demeanour now manning the counter, I couldn’t tell.
    I wanted to go and say goodbye when we left, but he was in the middle of making a coffee and the café was too busy. I settled for waving when he looked up and was treated to a grin that jolted through me like I’d just downed a triple espresso.
     
    40
     
    The next morning found me in new chinos and a black cashmere polo-neck that even I had to admit wasn’t too shabby. I hadn’t been too sure about the gilet to begin with—it turned out to be nothing more than a glorified bodywarmer— but as the bulk of it effectively covered any hint of the tube, I was a convert.
    I was nervous about Ollie seeing me in the new clothes, though. I’d been so worked up about it, I’d had no appetite that morning and had skipped breakfast.
    It was no wonder I was feeling a bit odd. Like the world was slipping sideways.
    I’d have to go and have a snack as soon as he’d left—get my blood-sugar level up.
    When the doorbell rang, I still had that nervous flutter in my belly, although this time there was a frisson of something else. Was it hope? Confidence?
    Whatever it was, it felt weird.
    “Hey, like the outfit. Are you off out somewhere?”
    Shit. Had I overdone it? Zoe had assured me chinos were fine for casual wear. “No, just trying out some of the new threads I bought yesterday.”
    I looked up from my trousers and plastered a smile on my face, which lasted until Ollie held up my parcel. There was a big tear at one end. It looked like it had been hacked open with a breadknife.
    “Sorry about this. It got a bit…damaged in transit. The DVD fell out.”
    I grabbed it from him, peered into the cardboard packet and groaned. The Visitor , a gay porn sci-fi epic starring Logan McCree. It would have to be that one, wouldn’t it? I could