great our life was together, and not wanting to upset the balance. But I think on my end it was all a front for me not wanting to take on a pregnancy at that weight, and on his end a basic deep-rooted selfishness. By the time I got healthy enough to believe my body could handle it and produce healthy offspring, I was starting the business, and now Andrew is gone . . .” I drift off.
“And good riddance to bad rubbish, I always say! God has a purpose, honey. For both of us. If we were supposed to be mothers, we would be. And if we weren’t meant to be mothers, it is because we need to be free for some other plan.” I envy Delia’s faith. Religion was never a major part of our lives. Dad was Jewish, Mom was Lutheran, neither practiced. As kids we did Chanukah and Passover with Dad’s folks and Christmas and Easter with Mom’s folks, and never did much of anything ourselves, and by the time I got to college, all four grandparents were gone, and we hadn’t really taken much to any of their traditions, throwing our energy instead into secular holidays like Halloween and Thanksgiving. I try to put faith into the universe as a general practice, but I see the strength Delia has when she gets here Sunday afternoons straight from church. The way she really means it when she says she believes God has a purpose.
“So, what shall we do with this afternoon?” she says.
I think about my past and hers. The lives we are trying to reclaim.
“Why don’t we work on cupcakes? Chocolate cupcakes with vanilla icing.”
MACARONI AND CHEESE
The directions on the blue box were so easy. Boil the water, and salt it. Put in the pasta. Cook till the noodles are done. Drain. Put the butter in the still-hot pan and add the noodles back on top. A quarter cup of milk, the bright orange powder from the package, a vigorous stir, and into a bowl. Try to wait a few excruciating minutes, because the sauce thickens if you can stand to wait. Which I never could. Mom only rarely allowed it in the house, decrying it as entirely without nutritional value, and only buying it when there was going to be a babysitter for a special treat. But at sixty-eight cents a box at any convenience store or gas station, a young girl with even a modest allowance can afford to pick up a box on her way home from school. It was our secret, the macaroni-and-cheese afternoons. At least once a week Gillian and I would sit with our warm bowls in front of Tom and Jerry cartoons and Brady Bunch reruns, then carefully wash the pot and bowls and spoons and put them away, laughing at how much fun it was.
The letter was taped to my door when I got home. One sheet, on the condo association letterhead.
Dear Melanie,
As you are aware, several owners have complained about the heating situation this winter, prompting the association to hire a HVAC specialist to do a full inspection of the building. We have discovered that the problem is a combination of the age and size of our original equipment, insufficient insulation in the “G” and “H” units, and an improper venting situation in the building’s systems. Since none of the units are in the hands of original owners, there is no legal recourse with the developer. We have, as the bylaws require, received three different estimates for the repairs, and have chosen a contractor to begin making the repairs on the first of next month. This work will require a special assessment of $15,000 per unit, which has been approved by the association. The assessment is due no later than March 5. Please make the check out to the association.
We will get in touch when the work is scheduled for your unit, no less than five business days before the workers are scheduled.
I know that this unexpected expense is an unfortunate thing, but I assure you that the money you will save in the long run on your heating costs, as well as the improved equity in your unit, will make up for it. We understand that not all of you may have the