Read Glitter. Real Stories About Sexual Desire From Real Women for Free Online Page B

(although only with guys, since there was no bisexual box to check). I spent hours chat-fucking men and women on instant messenger. I was young enough to enjoy wallowing in the drama of my various relationships. I wasn’t terribly preoccupied with activism or what labels people wanted to apply to me. I just liked sex.
    The one exception to this easy dismissal of labels happened when I was living in New York City. I was really horny and wanted to hook up with a girl that night, so I went to a lesbian bar I’d found in the LGBT section o f Time Ou t magazine. Butterflies flitted nervously in my stomach as I entered. What if they could tell I liked fucking guys, too? Would they think I was just one of those ‘lesbian until graduation’ types? Was I a total phony? I ended up sitting at the bar, only making eye contact with my amaretto sour. I never went back.
    When I was twenty-seven I fell in love with a man, and we married. It was around this age that I started to care about activism (spurred by the gay marriage battle in my home state). I’d long considered myself part of the gay community as an ally but now I began to define myself as a member of the community. I wanted to speak out, to be a visible member of the community.
    It’s ironic, really, that just as I decided to become visible as a member of the queer community, everyone else had officially declared me to be straight. After all, I had ‘picked’. I was a woman who had married a man. Woman + man = straight. I’m sure that people had assumed I was straight every time I’d had a boyfriend, but I’d never cared about it before.
    I’m not straight.
    When I tried to be out as bisexual, but married to a man, it often led to intrusive questions like…
    “So if your husband’s a guy, how do you handle being attracted to women?”
    “Do you cheat on him with women?”
    “But you reall y prefe r men, right? I mean, you married one…”
    Married bisexuals (or bisexuals in committed relationships) occupy a barren territory. We are seen to have picked our team (straight or gay), and should just shut up. When we show up with our families at Pride events, we are welcomed as allies, not as members of the community.
    While we’ve come a long way in recognizing gays and lesbians, bisexuals have long been ostracized by the gay community. We are a fringe group, and we don’t fit neatly into a box. The default assumption is that our sexuality reflects the sex of our partner, and we are treated accordingly: straight or gay.
    We end up invisible.
    What does bisexual pride look like? What does bisexual equality mean? That there isn’t an easy answer, or perhaps even an answer at all beyond “accept that sexuality is a fluid continuum and not a binary,” makes our place in the fight for acceptance messy at best.
    I will absolutely grant that in many ways, we bisexuals in opposite sex relationships have the easiest road when compared to the rest of the LGBT community. We can get married in all fifty states. We don’t have to worry about our children’s schools accepting our families as families. No one is arguing that we are not the gender we know ourselves to be.
    That doesn’t mean that it’s easy to be an invisible bisexual.
    I can stand right in front of you and you’ll never see me. Or believe I exist. You’ll think I went through a phase that I’m now over. Or you’ll want sordid details of my sex life to justify my assertion that I am, in fact, bisexual.
    There’s no secret bisexual society that I’m required to report to. There is not a quota of women I have to fuck each year to qualify as bisexual. No one is going to knock on my door and order me to turn in a membership card if I don’t masturbate equally to men and women.
    You see me with my husband and my kids, but you don’t really see me.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

 
     
     
    The Celibate Slut
    Jess
    I am a mental health professional, pastry chef, ex-art major,