Read Glass - 02 for Free Online Page B

seems to intuit
    my inner turmoil, which only
    serves to make her angrier still.
    You can’t want him to come
    here, Kristina? Do you really
    want him to spoil this special day?
    What can I say but the truth?
    “Why does he have to spoil
    anything, Mom? You’ve been
    divorced, like, forever. Can’t
    you bury the hatchet—and not
    literally? Can’t you just let it go?”
    Hunter starts to fuss—he’s still
    soggy—and Mom takes him
    from my arms. I’ll never forgive
    him for the way he treated his
    family, Kristina, or for the path
    he put you on last year.
    Okay, that’s just not fair.
    “You can stay mad at him
    forever, Mom. I don’t care.
    But you can’t blame him for
    the choices I made. He didn’t
    make those decisions for me.”
    She levels me with a single
    glare. [Damn, that’s a real talent.]
    I suppose that’s true, and I guess
    I can’t stop him from coming.
    She hands me the phone.
    But you have to tell your sister.

M om Goes to Change Hunter
    I dial Leigh’s number,
    praying she isn’t home.
    No luck there. We exchange
    pleasantries, chat
    a few minutes. Finally,
    I break the news.
    Leigh takes it well.
    No fucking way! Kristina,
    I want to be there,
    you know I do, and I really
    want you to meet Heather.
    It’s taken both of us this long
    to make that meeting happen.
    But how can we possibly come
    now? I wouldn’t know what
    to say to Dad, or how to react
    when I saw him. Why hasn’t
    he ever once called me, Kristina?
    How can he care so little?
    I don’t want to tell her drugs—
    and maybe sex—mean more
    to him than anything, though
    I know in my heart that’s
    the truth. I don’t want to tell
    her that’s the way of the monster.
    “I don’t know, Leigh. But you
    have to come, okay?”
    I haven’t seen her in months,
    and want her here for my birthday,
    not to mention the baptism.
    Suddenly I know what to say.
    Pastor Keith will simply
    have to deal with it, one way
    or another. Anyway, I’m not
    so sure God will have a hard
    time with my choice.
    “I want you and Heather
    to be Hunter’s godparents.
    Please, Leigh. Please come.”

I t’s Been Almost a Week
    Since Leigh reluctantly agreed
    to serve as Hunter’s godmother.
    (Godfather? Thank goodness I don’t
    know all the little details. They
    might make me change my mind.)
    But I’m happy (and sort of surprised)
    to say I’ve managed to keep my use
    pretty much under control.
    I’ve only indulged maybe twice
    a day, and yesterday I completely
    ignored the monster’s whining.
    Mostly because my body finally
    demanded the sleep of the dead.
    I claimed a flu bug was taking me
    down, and Mom believed every word.
    With my red eyes, sweats, and chills, no
    doubt I looked the part. I slept thirteen
    hours, got up and ate dinner, then crashed
    back out until this morning. Of course,
    the first thing I did when I got up was
    sneak around back for a quick toke.
    I have to admit I totally misjudged a few
    things, like the crystal’s effect on my mothering
    capabilities. I thought it would make it
    easier to segue into my daytime routine
    after late-night hours cajoling Hunter
    to please, please go back to sleep.
    Instead, the glass tends to make me
    (with apologies for the coming pun)
    a tad cranky. Imagine trying to placate
    a fussy baby when his crying sends
    major body rushes up and down your spine,
    crashing into your skull and vibrating
    inside your brain. Imagine trying to hold
    him against breasts hard as boulders
    from all the milk left to ferment inside
    and finally—blessedly—dry up completely,
    leaving your boobs a whole cup size
    smaller than before you got pregnant.
    Imagine, when the idea of food
    makes you want to retch, trying
    to deal with mostly-digested
    baby formula, big green glops,
    smeared on a butt (even if it is a pretty
    cute baby butt), all yours to clean.
    Imagine trying to play This Little Piggy
    when what you really want is to hook up
    with a guy for a great night of smoking
    and “touch me