something better came along.
----
At the end of July, their friend Sallie called to tell them that she was engaged and getting married in a month. And also, one more thing: She was pregnant. They weren’t sure what to say, so they told her congratulations. They couldn’t believe it. Sallie and Max had dated in college, where Max was known for doing keg stands until he vomited and Sallie sometimes forgot she had a boyfriend and kissed other boys at the party. They were getting married? They were having a baby?
“I think it’s exciting,” Ellen said.
“You think it’s exciting that their lives are over?” Lauren asked her. She was appalled.
“But you know them,” Ellen said. “They’re in love.”
Lauren snorted. “They’ll be divorced in five years,” she said.
“I hate to say it,” Shannon said, “but I kind of agree.”
----
Lauren learned something important at Sallie and Max’s wedding: You never want to be the first one of your friends to get married. If you are, just resign yourself to the fact that your wedding will be a shit show. Most people are still single, open bars are a novelty, and no matter how elegant the wedding was planned to be, it will wind up looking like a scene out of
Girls Gone Wild
.
They almost didn’t make it to the actual ceremony, because Lauren was throwing up all morning. “Please wait for me, you guys,” she kept saying before she ran back to the bathroom. “I’ll be ready in just a minute.”
They had five friends in town for the wedding, camped out all over the apartment on couches and air mattresses. When their guests had arrived the night before, they’d done their best to be good hostesses and show them a fun night, but had ended up staying out way too late. It was all they could do to shower and put on clean dresses.
“Is this going to be a long mass?” their friend Mary asked. She had gotten ready and then lain down on the couch to take a nap in her dress.
“You’re going to get wrinkled,” Ellen told her.
“I really don’t care,” Mary said. She kept her eyes closed.
Ellen was the only one who seemed to be excited about the wedding. She hadn’t stayed out too late the night before, and she was ready on time, looking fresh and ironed. She sat on the edge of one of the couches with her ankles crossed and watched as the rest of them scrambled to get ready.
----
The wedding was a mess. Everyone stampeded the bar and ordered tequila shots until the bride’s father demanded that the bartenders stop serving them. Their friend Isabella was one of the bridesmaids, and she informed them that the bride’s mother had been crying all morning. “She kept saying, ‘I can’t believe this is how it’s happening,’ ” Isabella said. “It was awful.”
Their friend Joe threw up on the dance floor and it had to be cleared and cleaned before anyone could continue dancing. One of the bridesmaids was found passed out in the bridal suite and had to be sent home. People made out in corners, girls fell down and ripped their dresses, and finally the band stopped playing and everyone was kicked out and decided to go to Life’s Too Short. Shannon kept slurring, “Their lives are ruined, you know. Their lives are ruined.”
Louis was at the wedding and they all knew this meant Ellen would cry. Louis and Ellen danced together at the reception and then sat alone at a table in the bar. They were sure that Louis would stand up at any moment and storm out, but every time they looked over, Ellen and Louis were laughing and he was touching her knee.
Tripp was at the bar and when he saw Lauren he said, “Oh, you’re here?”
“See?” Lauren said to Shannon. “Chivalry is not dead.”
Tripp didn’t say anything, and Lauren had a feeling that he didn’t know what “chivalry” meant. It was becoming clear that he was stupid. She would have to end it. But before she could say anything else, he walked away.
“What a loser,” Lauren said. Shannon