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to laugh or cry. This was all she needed. Her own doubts had largely been dispelled. She had accepted the situation with some degree of equanimity, even though she hated it.
    'I'm seeing him tomorrow,' she finally managed to say. 'We'll talk it through then.'
    'If you need a shoulder to cry on, you know where I am,' Trisha offered.
    'I'll be fine,' she said without much emotion. 'Don't worry. And thanks for your concern. Can you keep a secret?' she asked her friend suddenly.
    'Course. Oh my god, you're not pregnant are you?'
    'No course not. Oh it doesn't matter.'
    'Come on. Tell me.' Joanne paused.
    'No, you'll think I'm awful. Forget it.'
    'Is it about Mike? Come on.'
    'He's an escort. I booked him to take me to the dinner.'
    'Oh my god. He didn't look like an escort. Does this explain the redhead?'
    'Yes. You're not to breathe a word of this to anyone else. Promise?'
    'I suppose so. But Joanne, why did you?'
    'Because I didn't want to go on my own. Now forget it.'
    'But you surely didn't need to do that?'
    'I felt I did. He just turned out to be someone in one of my groups.'
    'But we saw you at the cinema? You surely didn't have to pay him for that?'
    'Of course not. We just sort of clicked. I've seen him again several times.'
    'Isn't that against the rules?'
    'I doubt it. Only his rules, I guess.'
    'Well, just be careful. You don't know that much about him. I'd better go now. Take care love. I don't want you to get hurt.'
    After she'd gone, Joanne sat thinking. She knew she shouldn't have said anything but it was too late now. Trisha would say she was weak, if she continued to see Mike but she had every intention of doing so. After all, she knew exactly why he was out with another client, didn't she?

Chapter Four
    It was difficult to sleep that night. Joanne kept thinking of him ... Mike ... being out with someone else. Though she knew exactly what his escort job entailed, it wasn't easy knowing he was seeing someone else, making them feel as special as he'd made her feel at the college formal. Suppose someone asked him to sleep with them? Would he do it? This was what it was all about, wasn't it? She didn't like it much but she had to put up with it. She couldn't get the picture of him sleeping with a gorgeous redhead out of her mind.
    The next day was Christmas Eve and she only had a brief time in the morning to go shopping.She went to the shops and wandered round seeking inspiration. She looked at clothes ... definitely not, she thought. She looked at music but there was nothing that struck her. She really didn't know this man well enough to know what to buy for him. In desperation, she finally bought him an arty book with wonderful photographs in it. She hoped to goodness he'd like it and see it as a suitable present. She wondered what he'd got for her and whether he'd had similar problems. She got back at lunchtime and ate a quick sandwich. She felt nervous about the coming events and as she dressed, she wondered about the sleeping arrangements at her parent's house. It might be tricky but somehow, she didn't feel as if it was going to matter too much. Did she want to sleep with him? Of course she did but she wasn't sure how it would be. Would he be shocked that she was a virgin? Would he hold it against her? She heard someone knock at her door and shot down the stairs, so quickly, she almost fell.
    'Oh, it's you,' she said as she opened the door. 'I wasn't expecting you just yet.'
    'I got away a bit earlier than I planned. I thought I'd come round anyway to see if you were ready.'
    'Lovely to see you. Come in. I take it you borrowed a car this weekend? Well, I know it isn't really weekend but you know what I mean.'
    'Indeed I did win the car battle. Mel wasn't too thrilled but hey, it's Christmas. Come here you,' he said, pulling her close to him. He kissed her very thoroughly and when she was feeling weak and past caring, he suggested they had some coffee. She blinked at him, surprised at the suggestion. 'I just