shit. I got it at one of those discount warehouse places with the thinking I wouldn’t be here long enough for it to even matter—that I would more than likely just move on and leave it here.
Fuck, I am going to have to go shopping. I don’t like the idea of shopping for home stuff, it means I am putting down roots. I don’t like roots, but I’m feeling like I need them and that is odd. Roots put me in the position where I have to make decisions about things and people. I don’t like those kinds of decisions; it means when the shit comes down the line I have to make the choice of leaving something or someone behind.
Is Aaliyah someone I could leave behind right this minute? She would have to be, kiss or no kiss. But if I continue to pursue her will she remain to be one? Probably not. She will wrap herself around my heart pretty damn tightly whether she means to or not. Shit, what about her daughter, Mina? She’s a priority as well, she would make things harder for us to get away if we had to leave quick. We couldn’t leave the little thing and Aaliyah would never abandon her. Would I want to take on a father figure role eventually?
Fuck, that’s a huge question, not that I really am sure Aaliyah is even remotely interested in making me a permanent thing in her life. Heh, who the fuck am I kidding? Of course she will be wanting that. I would so fuck me and try to marry my ass if I was some chick. I am fucking hot, sexy as can be and an amazing lover. Fuck, even with oral-sex I beat out all other men.
But would I want a little girl in my life, some little kid who yells and screams because whatever fucking reason little kids scream?
Would I want to take some kid on that’s not my own?
That’s a big question.
Would I want to? What if I really do hit it off with Aaliyah? There is no denying she is the sexiest woman I have ever seen in my life. Physically, she is just fucking… wow.
Mentally, I think she is right up there with a chick I could see myself with. She is self-reliant, and really does have a lot of self-respect. She doesn’t want things just handed to her, and she is pretty smart if the college school books I saw in the corner have anything to say in the matter.
Fuck, why the hell am I here planning my life out for some chick I just met? Looking over at the clock I see it’s midnight and sigh happily. I guess I have been letting my brain ramble now for a while because of the silence. God, that is nice.
I sit up and look towards my balcony. Yeah, I need a smoke and to clear my head.
Standing outside on his balcony, Trevon nods to me as I light up a cigarette. “What’s up?”
“Not much, just enjoying the peace and quiet, man.” he says.
“Me too, but now my brain is working overtime in the thinking department.”
He chuckles and says, “That’s a dangerous thing sometimes.”
“Yeah, it is. Too much thinking and not enough action.”
“Not enough action?” He rolls his eyes as he looks to the balconies above us.
“Well, that was a different type,” I grumble. “I meant too many thoughts and not enough information to move on.”
“Ah, so it’s about a woman.”
“Yeah.”
Laughing, he shakes his head. “Women… They are always a problem.”
He heads back in and I’m left with my thoughts as I wonder how I went from thinking about needing a new bed to wondering about my future with a woman I don’t even know.
----
L ast night I finally fell asleep after thinking about the future. I don’t even have a plan for what I am doing. I got out of town with my old boss’ death, and I haven’t done anything to secure a future for myself. I have money, enough to retire on. Fuck way more than just to retire. I didn’t spend a shit ton of money even when I was in the business. My dad sure didn’t teach me to keep my finances in check. Shit, he was the reason I have been pretty thrifty at times. The fucker loved the ponies and guns. I learned the gun business from him and