It’s time for us to talk about where we’re going with our relationship. I have to tell him that I would like him to move in with me. I can’t stand just drifting along, hoping and wishing. I’ll even tell him about the job opening down here. I think with his experience he would get hired in a heartbeat.”
Randy crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen counter. I knew he doubted my plan. “That sounds fine. You should be aware of one thing. Oftentimes, when someone isn’t ready for a relationship to go to the next level, and they are confronted with a request like the one you’re about to lay on Brad…well, it’s been my experience that they get scared.”
“Scared? What could be scary about love?”
“Commitment. It scares the hell out of some people. I just want you to know that there is a risk. Brad might not be ready for this. The result? Bam! Out the door. Adios, arrivederci, auf wiedersehen, adieu, see ya. Get what I’m saying?”
“No. No way. Brad and I are in love. I know it. The worst that could happen is he would say that it’s not time for him yet. He would never break up over it.” My eyes dropped to the floor. “Would he?”
“Gertie, without risk, there is no reward. But with a little witchcraft, you can remove that risk. Just saying.”
Randy had planted some seeds of doubt. “Any idea on how I could reduce that risk without witchcraft?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Give him a blowjob? Other than witchcraft or monetary bribes, a blowjob is the next most powerful thing there is. But not just any blowjob. You’ve got to bring him to the tipping point and make it last.”
“Really? It’s that big of a deal for a guy?”
“I’m just going to assume that Brad has gone down on you. And I’m going to assume you think it’s just about the best feeling you’ve ever had. Am I right?”
“Yes and hell yes!”
“So he probably feels the same way when you go down on him. The trick to making it work in your favor is to take your time. Tease him and get him right to the tipping point, so to speak. Keep doing it until it just about kills him. That might be a good time to mention a few words about how nice it would be if he could be with you here full time.”
“Okay, Randy. I need to point out two things. First of all, if Brad were to start and stop, start and stop, frustration would overpower ecstasy. Sounds like a mood killer to me. Secondly, I’ve never given him a blowjob. You’re suggesting some expert level skills here.”
“Whoa! Never? Really? You’re kidding. Brad has never asked for it, or even hinted?”
“Not kidding. Never.” I pointed to myself. “A century as a Gertiesicle, I pretty much missed out on that whole sexual revolution thing. And you know Brad is my first and only lover. When Brad and I make love, it just sort of unfolds. He’s never said anything about wanting that . But I’ll tell you one thing, I’m not much for getting bossed around and if a man told me what to do or not to do in bed, it would make it seem like I’m punched-in on the factory clock. Jesus, just the thought of it gives me the chills.”
“Relax, Gertie. It was just a suggestion. But you should know you have some serious untapped power. Sexual power.”
“Ugh. When you say it like that, it makes it sound creepy. When I think of sex, I think fun, passion, love and tenderness. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen blowjobs in the porn movies…when Kelly and Lindsey decided to give me their sex education lessons, they showed me some movies. I’ve definitely thought about giving Brad a blowjob, but that’s about it. It doesn’t appear to be all that fun, but it doesn’t look too terribly difficult.”
“Porn movies. Right. Well, try to remember that just because you’ve seen the trapeze act at the circus doesn’t make you an acrobat. Listen, just forget what I said about that and throw a hex on his ass. Now I’m going to check if that guy is coming soon to get that