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before, and in addition to stoking his anger, it had also
turned him on. Pushing her against the wall in the alley had been an impulse
but when she had softened against his hard body and all of her curves had
dipped into his hollows, his arousal had skyrocketed. None of the women he’d
been with professionally had ever driven him into the state that Riley had.
    Gabe
gave the bag a few more good hits and then stripped off his gloves. He grabbed
a glass of water and paced back and forth as he drank it. He knew he owed her
an apology for his rough treatment of her in the alley, but he wasn’t sorry for
what he had done in the bar. If he was smart he would just put her out of his
mind and let her go on about her business – they were nothing to each other and
even if he had wanted more, he knew he couldn’t give her what a woman like her
deserved.
    He’d
only had two actual girlfriends, one in college just before he’d begun
escorting and one about two years into his career. The first girl had been 18,
a sorority type girl who liked to party and drank just a little bit too much.
He’d been reluctant to date her, but she had been persistent and her bubbly
nature distracted him from the difficulties in his life. The sex had been okay
but nothing mind blowing and he had ended the relationship after two months
because they were just so different and it had begun to feel like too much work
to try and keep up with her.
    He’d
met his second girlfriend by chance, they’d hooked up after meeting in bar.
They’d both been drunk and he honestly couldn’t even remember their first night
together. The relationship had been mostly physical and the truth was that he
had used her to try and figure out his sexual hang ups. He was two years into
escorting and had still struggled to have any kind of connection with his
customers and had never actually been able to find sexual release with any of
them. Knowing that his buddies like Shane hadn’t encountered that same dilemma
had made him wonder if there was something wrong with him sexually, so he had
used his second girlfriend to try and build an emotional connection in an
effort to find the act of sex more comfortable.
    To
his shock, he faced the same problems with her that he did with his clients.
She hadn’t noticed or hadn’t cared. Growing desperate, he had come clean to his
girlfriend about the type of work he was doing in the hopes that if he wasn’t
lying about that part of his life then maybe everything else would fall into
place. She’d been surprised, then curious. Then she’d wanted a demonstration.
She hadn’t insisted he quit, hadn’t carried on about being betrayed; she just
expected the same from him that he gave his customers. He’d dumped her two days
after telling her the truth about his job.
    After
that, he had given up on building any kind of personal relationship with a
woman and he just numbed himself to what he was doing with his escort clients.
The emptiness kept growing with each woman he fucked for money until he no
longer felt anything at all. Giving a woman an orgasm had become the same as
hanging up a piece of drywall, but at least after a long day of busting his ass
on a construction job he could still look at himself in the mirror.
    He
was so fucked up and now somehow Riley had been thrown into the mix. He didn’t
understand why he was drawn to her. They’d barely spoken, she hadn’t pursued
him in any way and she didn’t look anything like the women he’d tried
relationships with in the past. They’d all been tall, skinny model types that
wouldn’t leave the house unless they were dressed to the nines and were in full
make-up. They went to tanning salons, got fancy manicures and haircuts that
cost more than his truck payment and ate salads even when he took them to a
pizza joint. He had yet to see Riley with any makeup on and besides the bar
uniform, he’d only ever seen her in simple jeans and plain, long-sleeved tops.
Her hair was