purple, and rich red pillows. Some are square, some circular, some cylindrical. She finds one thatâs emerald green and long.
âLook!â Her face lights up as if sheâs discovered a pirateâs booty.
âWhatâs the pillow love all about, Josie?â
Hugging it tighter, she answers, âPillows are wonderful. We can nap with them, cuddle with them, put our feet on them. Also,â she says, wagging a finger to draw me closer and dropping her voice to a whisper, âtheyâre boob friends.â
And Iâm a cartoon character knocked senseless. Itâs as if Iâve been hit with a frying pan of naughty, and the dirty lobe of my brain has rattled free. âBoob friends?â
Josie wiggles her eyebrows and backs up into the aisle next to the pillows.
I follow.
Iâd follow her anywhere right now because she just uttered my favorite word. Boobs . For the record, my second favorite word is tits. Third is breasts.
She bites her lip, glances from side to side, then draws the pillow right between the valley of the goddesses on her chest.
I groan.
Audibly.
And my dick springs to attention in my jeans, the shameless fucker.
Then, itâs story time for Josie Hammer, as she launches into a tale. âOnce upon a time, I had a stuffed crocodile. He was a small, green creature who lived on my bed, a present from when I was younger and in the middle of a big love fest for the Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile books. I made him talk, and I named him Lyle Lyle, too.â
âClever.â
Her eyes twinkle. âBut what was truly clever was how in middle school I discovered Lyle Lyleâs real purpose. You see, he came in quite handy for this early bloomer. When I was twelve and started getting these,â she says, gesturing to those absolutely fucking magnificent globes, âI started sleeping with Lyle Lyle.â
âYou slept with the stuffed crocodile?â I ask, my throat as dry as my dick is hard.
She nods and hugs the green pillow tighter between her breasts.
âWhy did you sleep with him?â I ask because the answer eludes me.
She shifts her weight so sheâs leaning a bit to the right. âBecause when you sleep on your side, the girls kind of fall on top of each other and smash each other. It can be a little uncomfortable.â
Yeah, like the tightness in my pants right now .
âI bet,â I choke out.
âSo Lyle Lyle got a job. I enlisted him as a boob friend. I slept with him every night, and he delivered complete and utter boob comfort.â
That lucky fucking inanimate animal. âI want to grow up to be a stuffed crocodile.â
Josieâs green eyes widen, then she laughs. âI like you just fine as you, though.â
I hold up my forearm. âThen consider this. Would this work as a boob friend? Hypothetically, of course. Iâm pretty sure my hand would fit nicely between a pair of boobs.â
She swats me. âIf the pillow fails, Iâll rap twice on the wall.â
âHonestly, you donât even have to knock. Just come into my room, grab my hand, and slide it between the girls.â My eyes drift to her 36Cs. What? I can tell from looking. Itâs a scientific gift of mine.
âWhat color are my eyes?â
Her question doesnât compute. I snap my gaze back up to her face. âGreen.â
She points to the bridge of her nose. âAnd theyâre here.â
âSeriously? You were talking about boobs. Pragmatically speaking, I had no choice but to look at the topic of conversation.â
She gives me an I-caught-youstare.
I hold up my hands. âThis is not a Swedish Fish moment. You brought it up.â
She lifts the green pillow and bonks me on the head with it. âAnd your hand offer is noted.â
âJust trying to be helpful. Thatâs all.â
âAnd I appreciate it. Iâm also buying this pillow.â
When we reach the counter, I pay for the pillow