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knew how stubborn her mother was going to be about Billy Durning's party, and he was a creep, as far as she was concerned. There were no two ways about it, and Ann was even worse in Tana's eyes. She was snobby, stuck up, and she looked easy, no matter how polite she pretended to be to Jean. Tana knew she was probably a whore, she had seen her drink too much at some of Billy's other parties, and she treated Jean in a condescending manner that made Tana want to slap her face. But Tana also knew that any hint of her feelings to her mother would lead them into a major battle again. It had happened too often before, and she wasn't in the mood tonight.
    “I just want you to understand how I feel now, Mother. I'm not going.”
    “It's still a week away. Why do you have to decide tonight?”
    “I'm just telling you.…” The green eyes looked stormy and ominous and Jean knew better than to cross her when she looked like that.
    “What did you defrost for dinner tonight?”
    Tana knew the tactic of avoidance, her mother was good at that, but she decided to play the game for now, and followed her mother into the kitchen. “I took out a steak for you. I'm having dinner with some of my friends.” She looked sheepish then. As much as she wanted her own life, she hated leaving Jean alone. She knew just how much her mother had given her, how much she had sacrificed. It was that which Tana understood all too well. She owed everything to her mother, not to Arthur Durning, or his selfish, spoiled, overindulged children. “Do you mind, Mom? I don't have to go out.” Her voice was gentle, and she looked older than her eighteen years as Jean turned to look at her. There was something very special between the two of them. They had been alone together for a very long time, and had shared bad times and good, her mother had never let her down, and Tana was a gentle, thoughtful child.
    Jean smiled at her. “I want you to go out with your friends, sweetheart. Tomorrow is a very special day for you.” They were going to dinner at “21” the following night. Jean never went there except with Arthur, but Tana's graduation day was occasion enough to warrant the extravagance, and Jean didn't need to be as careful now. She made an enormous salary from Durning International, at least compared to what she had made as a legal secretary twelve years before, but she was cautious by nature, and always a little worried. She had worried a lot over the past eighteen years since Andy had died, and sometimes she told Tana that was why things had turned out so well. She had worried all her life, in sharp contrast to Andy Roberts' easy ways, and Tana seemed to be a great deal like him. There was more joy in her than in her mother, more mischief, more laughter, more ease with life, but then again life had been easier for her with Jean to love and protect her, and Tana smiled now as Jean took out a pan to cook the steak.
    “I'm looking forward to tomorrow night.” She had been touched to learn that Jean was taking her to “21.”
    “So am I. Where are you all going tonight?”
    “To the Village, for a pizza.”
    “Be careful.” Jean frowned. She always worried about her, anywhere she went.
    “I always am.”
    “Will there be boys along to protect you?” She smiled. Sometimes it was hard to know if they were protection or a threat, and sometimes they were both. Reading her mind, Tana laughed and nodded.
    “Yes. Now will you worry more?”
    “Yes. Of course.”
    “You're silly, but I love you anyway.” She threw her arms around her neck, gave her a kiss, and disappeared into her room to turn the music up even louder, as Jean winced, and then found that she was singing along. She had certainly heard it all often enough, but by the time Tana finally turned it off and reappeared, wearing a white dress with big black polka dots and a wide black patent leather belt, with black and white spectator shoes, Jean was suddenly struck by how pleasant the silence