Read From the Inside Out: The Compilation (Scorned, Jealousy, Dylan, Austin) for Free Online Page B

tell. His head lifts, his eyes leveling with mine. “You want to see him again. I know you do, but why? Why after what he did? Why would you give him the time of day? He doesn’t deserve you. He never did. You’re just affected by his looks.” He takes a sip of water not expecting me to reply… yet. He knows I will when I’m ready. Unfortunately his rant is not over either. “You’re kidding yourself if you think you’re special to him, if you think you ever were. No one treats someone the way he did you if they really love them.”
    “I don’t want to keep talking, rehashing this until everything we had is twisted. You don’t know how it was. It was… it was only bad at the end, the very end.” I struggle to meet Brandon’s angry eyes, but I do it despite the tears weighing heavily in the corners of mine. “He loved me. I know he did. And I, I loved him.”
    He slides his hand across the table and finds mine, taking it and gently squeezing. “Are you looking for closure or something else?” He sighs as if he’s exasperated by me. “I don’t want you hurt again. I don’t want you to end up like you were before.”
    I hold his hand firmly. “I don’t know what I want anymore—”
    My hand goes cold. He’s on his feet, money hitting the table before I have time to finish my sentence. I watch him leave the restaurant. I should rush after him, but I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Then I make my way out the doors and into the chic waiting lounge by the escalators. “I thought you left me.” I hate how weak I sound.
    Brandon’s eyes lock with mine, the venom oozing before he strikes. “I would never leave you, Jules. I’m not Dylan .”
    I wrap my arms quickly around his middle, resting my cheek on his chest. Some of this is for him, some for me. We often confuse who’s supposed to be feeling what and when these days. Some days it makes me want to take a step back and reaffirm my own strengths. Others, I need him too much, reminding me of how we used to hang out back when I was still Juliette…
     
    Brandon, our neighbor, has invited us to the movies. I’ve been dying to see it, but Dylan hasn’t. I know he’s stressing about his monthly quota and money, but we can afford this small luxury. Dylan says, “You go. I’m tired. I’ve had a long day and I just want to veg out.”
    “I don’t want to go without you—”
    “You’ve been wanting to see that movie for weeks now.”
    I feel bad, guilty for leaving him alone. “I can stay home, make dinner. We can cuddle.”
    “No, go. Trust me. I’m in a bad mood anyway.”
    There’s a pause. “Okay, if you’re sure,” I say.
    He’s staring at the TV ahead, remote pointed at the screen. “I am. I’ll see you when you get home.”
    “Alright. I love you.”
    “I love you,” he mumbles not looking my way.
     
    I’m pathetic for not letting the pain go, for holding onto it while holding my best friend. Brandon is gonna hate me soon enough because right here, in his arms, I know what I’m going to do and it sucks, but I have to. Even if it hurts him.
     

     
    DYLAN SPINS AROUND in the large burgundy chair, tossing his headphones on the desk like he just got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing.
    Was he? My stomach is unsettled by the thought, my confidence faltering.
    He’s on his feet, mouth agape, and staring… but only momentarily. I have a strong suspicion he never loses his cool for long. My defenses rise in his presence.
    “Julie—” He corrects himself. “Jules, I’m surprised to see you.” He stammers and for a brief second, I see the boy I knew through his discomfort, which makes me smile. He also smiles, but his breathing is heavier than it should be. “I wasn’t expecting,” he starts again, then pauses to run his hands carelessly through his hair like old times, but his fingers stop when he remembers his hair is styled. He’s messed it up now. I love that I’ve thrown him off balance.