being anything but toiletized after that.â
âHow about you?â
âI donât know if what Frieda did to me stopped me from having kaka accidents or even was the last time she put it in my face. I do think it happened to me. For sure. Memory of itâs too vivid for it not to have happened, but I guess that doesnât have to be the case.â
âSo, are you going to see her?â
âYes, I think so, you mind? I had Olivia two hours today, so Iâve at least done part of my daily share. When I come back Iâll take her to the park or something and you can get back to work.â
He goes to his motherâs. Has the keys, lets himself in. âHi, hi, itâs me,â he says, walking through the living room. Theyâre having coffee and cookies in the kitchen. Frieda sees his mother look up at him and smile and turns around. âOh my, look whoâs here,â she says. âWhat a nice thing to do,â and holds out her arms. He bends down and kisses her cheek while she hugs him around the waist. Still that strong scent of that German numbered cologne she always wore. He wondered on the subway if he should bring the shit incident up. If it did happen to him or has he been imagining it all this time? If he has been imagining it, thatâd say something about something he didnât know about himself before. But heâd never bring it up. It would embarrass her, his mother, ultimately him. Or immediately him, seconds after he asked it.
âYou didnât bring the little one,â Frieda says. âOr your wife. I never met them and was hoping.â
âIâm sorry, I didnât even think of it. Maybe no time to. When my mother called you were coming, I just ran right down.â
His mother asks if he wants coffee. âBlack, I remember, right?â Frieda says.
âAlways black,â his mother says.
Frieda talks about her life. He asked. âAs I told Mrs. T., weâre still living in the same small house in Ridgewood and weâll probably die there. Thatâs Ridgewood Brooklyn, you know, not Queens. There, just over the line, itâs always been very different. But our areaâs been much improved. Young people are living in. Excuse me, moving. Many good whites, blacks, Spanishâhard-working people, with families, and honest. Youâd like this: some artists, even. For years we couldnât go out on the streets after six. Even during the days it was dangerous sometimes. We needed escortsâyou had to pay for them; they simply didnât volunteerâjust to go shopping.â The same high reedy voice, trace of a German accent. Must be a more accurate wayâa better wayâto describe the distinctiveness of it, but itâll do for now. âMartin is as well as can be expected for someone his age.â He asked. âHe still does all the baking at home. Breads, rolls, pies, cakesâhe does one from the first two and one from the second two every other day. I donât understand how we stay so thin, and he still only uses real butter, a hundred percent. The baking company gave him a good pension, and with the Social Security we both getâDr. T. helped set it up for me. I really wasnât eligible to be paying for it at the time, but oh my God, could he finagle. For good reasons mostly, Iâm saying, for he knew weâd need it later. So, we live all right and have no complaints other than those every old person has. But Mrs. T. looks wonderful, thank God,â and she knocks twice on the table. âSuch a tough life, but she never changes, never ages. Sheâll always be a beautiful bathing beauty and a showgirl, which she only stopped being, you know, a few years before I came to work for her. Sheâs amazing,â and squeezes his motherâs hand. âThe parties you gave thenâI still see them in my head.â
âThatâs what I just told you about