a
group practice when she left her residency, but the ones she
interviewed with didn’t want her moonlighting. They also didn’t
afford her the flexibility to volunteer as much, or to offer her
services for free to those who couldn’t pay, so that was another
reason she opted to go it alone.
Last year when she’d finished her residency,
she’d imagined a much different scenario—one that had her
financially ahead of where she was right now. She refused to give
up her dream though. It was too important. Helping those less
fortunate was her driving force. She wanted to raise funds, when
she was able, to open a place where the abused could find
psychiatric services at affordable fees and if they didn’t have any
funds at all, they could still be treated. She knew it was a pipe
dream, but it was hers and she would do all she could to make it
happen.
When she fisted the sheets in frustration,
she realized they, along with her pajamas, were damp with sweat. So
she changed both and when she returned to bed, it was after two in
the morning. She doubted she’d be able to sleep.
Her eyes were riveted on her best friend—the
ceiling. Over the years, it heard every one of her disgusting
secrets, things that no one else knew, ever since that awful day.
As she stared at it, the whispers began, like they did on so many
nights.
“ I wish someone had told
me long ago that life would always be this grim. That damn Danny. I
just don’t understand why he keeps doing this to me.”
“ Gabby, don’t you dare
ever breathe a word of this to anyone or I’ll fucking kill you. You
hear me? I’ll kill you first and then I’ll kill that stupid drunk
mother of yours. I’ll sneak into her bedroom while she’s passed out
and smother her. And it’ll all be your fault. You understand me?
And just so you know, I’ll come here and fuck you any time I want.
Understand?”
Gabby knew she never
should’ve told her dad. She knew after that first couple of years,
she should’ve kept it all to herself. Her mother didn’t care. She
couldn’t stay sober long enough to care about anything besides
booze and the only things her dad cared about were his son and what
others thought of the family. “ Outward
appearances. We have to look good for everyone.” That’s what he used to say.
When she finally did get the guts to tell
him, his reaction was nothing less than she’d expected.
“ You’ve got to be kidding
me. Danny? Raped you? And when did this happen?” He laughed at her.
“Come on Gabby. This is just a cry for attention and you know it.
Another example of you being difficult. Danny would never do
anything like that. He’s like a member of this family. He and your
brother are more like brothers than cousins they’re so close. Quit
trying to blame things on him. Just because you don’t have any
friends at school, don’t point fingers at Danny.”
“ But Dad, he hurt me. He
really did. And he’s still doing it. I swear he is.” Her face was
soaked with tears as she begged her father to believe
her.
“ You’ve become quite the
actress, young lady. I think you need to quit reading all those
books and start spending more time facing reality. Now stop with
this charade. I won’t have it.” He slammed his hand on his desk and
she flinched, afraid he was going to hit her, like Danny had. “Now
get out of here before I do something we both regret.”
Gabby stared at the ceiling, remembering how
she ran to her room crying that night. She remembered how she would
try to convince herself that she hadn’t been difficult, that she’d
been a good girl and that Danny had truly hurt her. And he was
still hurting her. He had stolen so much of her life, and no one
believed her. Eventually, she’d stopped telling anyone about him …
she’d stopped even trying. And that piece of shit accomplished what
he’d wanted, what he’d set out to do. He’d ruined her and she’d
kept his filthy secret. Even though she never wanted to.
Carey Corp, Lorie Langdon